Saturday, March 29, 2014

Second stop into Insomniac Theater


  I am trying to space these out because I think I might die. I don't even know if I actually have the right kind of insomnia , because some nights I'll be up until my alarm rings head off to work , come home, run , shower, play some videa games, and still be wide awake. But on other nights I will fall asleep on my glasses thus leading to that awkward wake up moment of "oh shit ! I fuckin broke them. I am fucked.... Oh wait they aren't bent at all. " so really it's not fair for me to say I am an insomniac. But since it's a catchy title I will keep it for now until I figure out what the hell is going on in my brain.

   Back on topic. So I kept the trend of watching two movies. One that wasn't meant to be taken as anything more then what it is. Low budget, self deprecating, (spelt that right on the first tyme) and campy to say the least. Only to follow it up by a movie that was "crafted" better. Basically a movie not meant for straight to DVD release. So the two movies were Wrestlemaniac and Ass Backwards. Both on hulu +. Let's get into it.

Good way to start a movie 
  Wrestlemaniac is the M list horror movie that stars Rey Mysterio sr ( wwe superstar Rey Mysterio's papa) and a bunch of to bad for porn "actors". The group of "actors"who basically where the mystery inccourperafed gang with a fat guy instead of scooby, one extra girl, and no common sense amongst other short comings. Are on a road trip to somewhere in Mexico get side tracked and go to a town I didn't even bother remembering the name because it had no relevance to the movie. But the reason for the road trip is to find a sweet ass bitching location for their plumber based porn. Yup the lead dickhead who name is Alfonzo is directing and staring (only truly talented filmmakers can do that) . You know what the porno isn't even the focus of this movie. Basically the movie is trying to have Luchador wrestling being main weapon of violence for the monster which is Rey Mysterio sr who is from what I can guesstimate is about 5'4 and 235 so he looks like a bowling ball with legs and a chest tatto. Not saying he was bad , he was the best part of the movie. The only problem I have with him is that he used no Luchador moves in the whole movie. He plays a frankenwrestler so some wrestling moves should be on the table. Just saying. So el maskerado or whatever which I think means the masked cowboy in Mexican picks off the 6 worst examples of human existence one by one. First goes drunk slut, then stoner guy, then Alfonzo the scumbag, then Fats (aka the writer and directors take oninternet wrestling fans), then odd boobs, and then big boobs who is  also a mechanic and the worst hider of all time.  No one lives and you shouldn't care. I give the movie a 1.5 which it struggled to get to. There is no fun in this movie at all. Don't watch it.
Just like in Jurassic Park... But Slutty 

  Next up is Ass Backwards. Which stars June Diane Raphael and Casey Wilson star in this female cast driven movie? You might know June who has a great podcast which is one of my favorites called "How did this get made " and she has been on shows like the New Girl, Party Down and Parks and Rec. and Casey Wilson was on Saturday night live for one season and has been on the grossly underrated show Happy endings until it was canceled and she has done small guest spots on other things. Both are very talented and funny woman and  showed it off in this witty comedy. The two play best friends who met at a beauty pageant when they were kids and needless to say haven't moved on do to their delusions of grandeur. I really liked this movie and do recommend you checking it out. I don't want to write a lot about it you should see this movie. Also it's really easy to write about movies you hate but it's harder to write about movies you liked. I give the movie a 5.5 out of 10. Give it a look, it's a good movie and you'll laugh at the chemistry these two ladies have with each other as they constantly miss the point. It's just funny. Though It did not fair well with other critics.  

  That's it errvery body. Now that I've done Netflix and Hulu + it looks like I have to go on the youtube to find movies. My greatest challenge to date. Well, besides learning how to float in the water. I can't do it I get too scared

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