Saturday, March 29, 2014

Second stop into Insomniac Theater


  I am trying to space these out because I think I might die. I don't even know if I actually have the right kind of insomnia , because some nights I'll be up until my alarm rings head off to work , come home, run , shower, play some videa games, and still be wide awake. But on other nights I will fall asleep on my glasses thus leading to that awkward wake up moment of "oh shit ! I fuckin broke them. I am fucked.... Oh wait they aren't bent at all. " so really it's not fair for me to say I am an insomniac. But since it's a catchy title I will keep it for now until I figure out what the hell is going on in my brain.

   Back on topic. So I kept the trend of watching two movies. One that wasn't meant to be taken as anything more then what it is. Low budget, self deprecating, (spelt that right on the first tyme) and campy to say the least. Only to follow it up by a movie that was "crafted" better. Basically a movie not meant for straight to DVD release. So the two movies were Wrestlemaniac and Ass Backwards. Both on hulu +. Let's get into it.

Good way to start a movie 
  Wrestlemaniac is the M list horror movie that stars Rey Mysterio sr ( wwe superstar Rey Mysterio's papa) and a bunch of to bad for porn "actors". The group of "actors"who basically where the mystery inccourperafed gang with a fat guy instead of scooby, one extra girl, and no common sense amongst other short comings. Are on a road trip to somewhere in Mexico get side tracked and go to a town I didn't even bother remembering the name because it had no relevance to the movie. But the reason for the road trip is to find a sweet ass bitching location for their plumber based porn. Yup the lead dickhead who name is Alfonzo is directing and staring (only truly talented filmmakers can do that) . You know what the porno isn't even the focus of this movie. Basically the movie is trying to have Luchador wrestling being main weapon of violence for the monster which is Rey Mysterio sr who is from what I can guesstimate is about 5'4 and 235 so he looks like a bowling ball with legs and a chest tatto. Not saying he was bad , he was the best part of the movie. The only problem I have with him is that he used no Luchador moves in the whole movie. He plays a frankenwrestler so some wrestling moves should be on the table. Just saying. So el maskerado or whatever which I think means the masked cowboy in Mexican picks off the 6 worst examples of human existence one by one. First goes drunk slut, then stoner guy, then Alfonzo the scumbag, then Fats (aka the writer and directors take oninternet wrestling fans), then odd boobs, and then big boobs who is  also a mechanic and the worst hider of all time.  No one lives and you shouldn't care. I give the movie a 1.5 which it struggled to get to. There is no fun in this movie at all. Don't watch it.
Just like in Jurassic Park... But Slutty 

  Next up is Ass Backwards. Which stars June Diane Raphael and Casey Wilson star in this female cast driven movie? You might know June who has a great podcast which is one of my favorites called "How did this get made " and she has been on shows like the New Girl, Party Down and Parks and Rec. and Casey Wilson was on Saturday night live for one season and has been on the grossly underrated show Happy endings until it was canceled and she has done small guest spots on other things. Both are very talented and funny woman and  showed it off in this witty comedy. The two play best friends who met at a beauty pageant when they were kids and needless to say haven't moved on do to their delusions of grandeur. I really liked this movie and do recommend you checking it out. I don't want to write a lot about it you should see this movie. Also it's really easy to write about movies you hate but it's harder to write about movies you liked. I give the movie a 5.5 out of 10. Give it a look, it's a good movie and you'll laugh at the chemistry these two ladies have with each other as they constantly miss the point. It's just funny. Though It did not fair well with other critics.  

  That's it errvery body. Now that I've done Netflix and Hulu + it looks like I have to go on the youtube to find movies. My greatest challenge to date. Well, besides learning how to float in the water. I can't do it I get too scared

Thursday, March 27, 2014

A little update and the first 2 installments of insomniac theater

Hey guys I just wanted to post a quick little something to give you the old heads up on what we've been up to lately.

   Not that much. Just kidding, calm down everyone. If you listen to the podcasts and I am sure you guys do. You have not

iced that our sound has been muffled. Well, we fixed that and have taken the appropriate  steps to give you high quality podcast noise. It turns out that the microphone on my Ipad got covered in dust and grime or something. After a good cleaning you can hear Mikey's chuckle loud and clear.

  Another thing I wanted to tell you guys is that I am A. going to finish that 3 part saga of Marvel Vs D.C the battle of the medias and B. Along with the return of Movie mayhems I am going to start the insomniac theater.
The Wonka Knows 
    Insomniac theater came about because I can't fall asleep any more and I need to burn my brain out in a constructive and cheap way before I go crazy pants. So what I am going to do is search and dive the depths of Netflix, Hulu + , Youtube, and my own dvd collection for movies that I peak my interest. I will not review new movies that come out on the big screen. Nope , that's for the mayhem. I will also be live tweeting them on my twitter . That sentence was redundant but if you want to watch and follow along with me. I swear I don't hold anything back. Like I hold all movies to a higher well thought standard that no one. AND I MEAN NO ONE !!! Can live up to. I actually did two movies already. So I will give you a little bit of a taste.

The closer you are the clearer it is 
  The First film up is " Iron Sky"-The heart warming tale of Nazi's who have been living on the moon. Look I get they knew this was not meant to be a serious movie. But movies like that are pretty much a way for young screen writers, directors, and directors of photography  to get some experience  and try some new shit without a major box office flop. But this movie was just down right offensive.
 Like you ever have a relative who when you were 10-19 you found really funny because you didn't fully understand what they were saying and you barely knew anyone besides your small circle of friends. But then you grow up and start realizing that the world is pretty fucked and what your relative is saying is grossly offensive... Well this make your relative look like Wayne Brady. They were trying to offend someone but I could never grasp who was the #1 target was. I guess nazi's because they turned out to be dumb, even though they mastered space travel and moon colonization in the fucking 40's. For example the "new" hitler was on the verge of killing his ex girlfriend and electrocuted himself after doing the Hail move.

TIME OUT, They turned a Black model White, never told him, said they did him a favor, He became
This is an actual scene in the movie 
homeless, Went to a Charlie Chaplin movie, went back to space, and turned black again to only fall in love with a Nazi.  I shit you not! This movie was crazy.  The writer must have hated Sarah Palin because the Female President who didn't have a name besides President of the United States and she is the fucking worst! She took a speech from Space Nazi ( Even if they wrote the greatest speech every they are nazis) , She wants to be a war time president because they always get reelected, Also she claimed the moon as American soil  because there is an alternate fuel source up there only reason why is because we put the flag up there in 1969. But if you think about it the moon belongs to Germany because thats where the nazi's started.  I can go on and on about it for another 6 paragraphs but nothing. Characters were poorly fleshed out. Also they called a solider "Moon Commander ". I've never heard any military  call a decorated soldier  Location Commander. Like someone who is stationed here is called Long Island Commander Jeff. Nonsense. But like I said this movie is dumb. So I gave it a 2 out of 10. But you can get through it quickly . Also there is a lot of the High heel influenced violence.
4 more Years

"Trust me John. People will believe this love story" 
   Second Film is The Raven Staring John Cusack , Alice "Big Boobs" Eve and a bunch of people who kinda look alike. Going into this I thought this movie had one of those bad reps by the critics, Box office numbers and would really be a perfect Netflix gem. How I was mistaken. The Movie itself    is about an hour and fifty something minutes. And by minute 24 you stop caring.  The Story is someone is using Edgar Allen Poe ( who is played by John Cusack. Don't worry they will let you know he is Poe. Over, over, over ,over and over again) stories to kill people .But  I guess they wanted to  put us in the time when Poe was a struggling , down on his luck, creative writing teaching, only having one drink alcoholic, social butterfly and hot chick bedding time in his life. You know before he was really famous but he was famous. So somehow creepy cool Poe is in a secret romance with Alice Eve but is scared of her " Gun toting father" because in the late 1800s carrying a gun is out of the norm. So the Baltimore Pd  suspect Poe until Alice Eve gets kidnapped at some party. Then the game starts. Or whatever, I was so bored that I started cleaning my room and never missed a beat. There is no real glaring holes in the stories except for the historical inaccuracies, and advance police work that moved the story along. My problem is the fact the makers of this movie killed they're ending by just letting the big reveal go by with no music or no tension rising elements. It pissed me off to no end. So I just have to say I hate this fucking movie so much. It gets 1 out of 10 . Don't watch it and seriously fuck this movie.
What happened to you Bro?

   So that is that it's now 3 am and I think I might watch Ghostbusters 2 which is now on netflix. Check out the Tweeter feed for more insomniac theater.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Marvel Vs Dc part 1 of 3 or whatever. Tv ,Video Games….. and Waffle tacos

 I just want to start this post with a simple fact. I have been flustered the past couple of weeks. My brain has been basically scrambled because I am not ready for this. I haven't prepared my mind, my soul and most importantly my body for this event. I feel that I will crumble when the day comes.

 No I am not talking about the WWE Network. I haven't bought into it yet but I have heard very little from Andrew, Mikey, and Nick. I am actually just talking to them now because I have concerns about our shitty location scouting for our podcast. By they way you should check us out  we are on the iTunes and on Podbean ( if ay don't like the iTunes )… Will it change your life? No. Will it make you laugh? More then likely we are pretty funny. Will it make you … umm lost my point but you know give it a listen, you will have a reaction. That's all I can promise you but back to my original point. I am grossly under prepared for what is about to happen!!!  Taco's made of Waffles and being sold at taco bell!!  

 Everyone knows that waffles are the # 2 breakfast food right below pancakes  and above bacon/ eggs they are in an eternal  struggle to what is the best side dish to go with pancakes.  Well waffles have now changed the fucking game. No longer will waffles sit out the have food stuffed in-between them game.  Waffles has let the universe know that they are ready for a higher class of war. Yes I have heard of Burgers made of waffles and other waffles like sandwiches. But this is crape territory. Oh man I just had an Idea a breakfast burrito with a pancake wrap !!!!!!!!!  This war will have it's causalities… What side are you on? Pancakes literally the least offensive food in the world or Waffles a darker more adult like breakfast food…

 Time out was that not a perfect seg-way into my actual post topic? Marvel Vs DC movies/tav shows. Lets talk about it some because it's a topic I find interesting and well really the only thing I have a decent  handle on.
The 90's 

 Lets start at Tv shows. Dating back to the 30's comic book stories have been translated in to radio shows and then progressing to Tv. The first real big popular comic book based TV show was the Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves and since then more and more comic book characters have been coming up through the live action waves. Trust me I will get to animation , but not now.  Each company has their big hits but really one company has been more confident with their shows.
 D.C has pulled zero punches with their shows. They put established characters into shows. Unlike Marvel who after the Hulk hasn't given a character a run as a t/v series. We all know Marvel owns it in the movies which I will get to.  Lets take a look at a small list of T.v shows from both companies

                                      D.C                                                Marvel
                                    Batman                                        The Incredible Hulk
                               Wonder womans                                   Spider man
                                   The Flashs                                        Nightman ( who the fuck is this)
                            Lois and Clark- Superman                        Mutant X - Xmen I guess
                                     Smallville                                       Blade: the series
                                     Arrow                                            Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Successful for a reason…. He's throwing a Bear 
The D.C shows have had multiple seasons and varying success. While the only Marvel show that had more then a 2 year run was the Hulk. Well, who knows how long S.H.I.E.L.D will last for. Disney put a good number of eggs in that basket. Even though no ones knows what that basket is holding for the universe.  So the Winner of the Live action show is = D.C and will continue to win because they are building up character so they can make movies about, if they so Choose…. Blue Beetle ?????? Though I have watched a few Smallville episodes and the first season of Arrow. I know they are not good but they appeal to an audience that has deep pockets. But, that could all change in the next couple of years with the deal Marvel and Netflix worked out.  DareDevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and Jessica Jones. Which is smart because these 4 shows will go right to the fans that want to see them along with the netflix user who says " Well this looks interesting. Maybe I'll watch one season of Breaking Bad… OMG THIS IS AMAZING"… By the way the full Season 5 is up. So I win !!!!!!!!!
Let the world hear your song 

---- Time Out I forgot that D.C has a Gotham T.V Show coming out. Marvel argument is invalid they lose. Due to the Batman Formula. Which is for those who don't know… Crime Drama+ Gritty world + Batman rouge's Gallery + Alfred = Success with Birds of Preybeing the exception.  That one was ahead of it's time. ------

What next should I go with video games? Because lets face it , Arkham Asylum is hands down the best series of games and they keep on  making Spiderman games with very little popularity and if you think about it long enough. Spider man should be a fantastic game. But I am not a big Video game guy so I won't embarrass myself in pretending to give a list. Lets  just move on.

  This concludes part 1. I would have continued but I spent so much time talking about the wafflco or the taffle  or the Breakfast Taco and pancakes. So  breaking this up into different post should be good for all parties. Plus I was doing some research and the animation part is going to be a doozy. There is so much content that I can cover. But that's a post for another day. If you have any add ons or questions. Hit me up here or on the Facebook site. Lots of fun to be had with this topic.

Winners of Round 1… What will round 2 bring