Sunday, February 9, 2014

In Case You Were Planning On It: Independence Day 2

Welcome to a new section of Underrated Heroes that I like to call "In Case You Were Planning On It" in which we take an idea that should never have been in your head in the first place, and explain why you shouldn't do it. This way you get to save yourself from losing some money, feeling disappointed, and hiding your face whenever said idea is mentioned in public. It also fulfills the court-mandated community service that many of our writers still haven't started, so we're looking at a win-win. First up: Independence Day 2.

The Obvious Reason:  No Will Smith

This sequel to the 1996 classic will not feature Will Smith.  Now before your mind takes you anywhere down the road of "Well it can still be a good movie without him.." go take a shower and in that shower think of the memorable moments of Independence Day:

1) Will Smith punching an alien in the face and quipping "Welcome to Earth!"

2) Will Smith dropping a virus from Jeff Goldblum's GameBoy into the mothership of an alien race with technical advancements thousands of years ahead of our comprehension and then barely making it out of the explosion.

Dat 1996 wifi speed.
3) Will Smith's dog jumping over cars to barely make it out of an explosion.

If Boomer here makes it into the sequel I may go see it.

4) Will Smith dancing down the aisle on his wedding day.

Yea, this is from the same movie.

I'm not saying these were the only memorable moments of the movie, but try to picture the movie without these moments. Will's character, both within and outside the script, add depth to this movie that, as much as I hate to say it, can't simply be filled in by The Rock.

Again, Will Smith was not the only star of the film by any means, but what he brought to the movie could not have been compensated by anyone else in the cast. His wit, his badass aura, the way he can make you relate to him in a circumstance that you will probably never be able to relate to, all gave the movie qualities that could not have been replaced by an abducted redneck or former rabbi.

The Other Obvious Reason:  Aliens Are Played Out

Sure, movies about alien invasion have been made since The Day the Earth Stood Still in 1951. But none of these movies were quite as balanced as Independence Day. It had the goofiness of Mars Attacks!. It had the horror of Alien. It had the action of Predator. It begged the question of "What if we really aren't alone?" as well as any movie in the alien genre, yet stood out with its ability to still make me feel patriotic watching it even as the NSA monitors my viewing habits.

But more importantly, it was the first to successfully combine all of these elements. Since Independence Day, there have been good alien movies that focused just on action and humor (Men in Black) and some that zone in on the mystery surrounding the idea of extraterrestrial life (Signs, Super 8).
Men in Black
But since Independence Day, most ventures into the alien movie genre resemble Battleship or Keanu Reeve's The Day The Earth Stood Still remake.
Battleship aka Please Join the Navy
These movies and others like them all tried to be what ID2 is trying to be, which is the next Independence Day,  but instead of using their budget and technology as a tool to bring a good concept and plot to life, they relied on CGI to cover up the lack of any thoughtfulness or creativity.

The latter is probably the fate of Independence Day 2.  Hollywood is still in a stage where churning out green screen spectacles is prioritized above taking the time to craft a good movie.  This is the reason we have a fourth Transformers movie. Studios are just buying licenses to franchises that they know will draw people in to their next CGI demo. In fact, they've done this so much that it's probably best to expect a new alien movie to follow suit. 

This isn't to say the genre is dead. Once people stop paying money for movies that clearly don't try further than visual effects, the entire industry might start getting better. Who knows? This may even happen before ID2 comes out. But until I see any indication of that happening, my stance is clear.

In case you were planning on seeing Independence Day 2:

Will's actual reaction to Independence Day 2.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

This is for your benefit …Please let me help you ,I love you


  There comes a time in every customers life where they feel like its time for a change. right now I am at that point. I have been a Netflix subscriber for  a while now. The first time I obtained a Netflix subscription was when I bought my PS3 and got the free instant disc which gave me a free month of Instant and Dvd. But when I made my commitment to keeping instant because I could not be held to the responsibility of returning a dvd. It's too much pressure on a person. No late fees and no return date? So many opportunities to lose it. So I axed the Dvd real quick. Like most of the world when they said you will pay 2 separate prices. Which was a bold move and I love that whole changing name shit
they tried. Hilarious move, why change the name? Ihop does breakfast lunch and dinner but they're still called the international house of pancakes, they don't change it every 4 hours.

    But I am not here to talk about pancakes. As much as I want to and I would love talking about those soft, fluffy, sweet, fill, cakes of pure heaven.  No, I am here to talk about what I can suggest to my favorite application/website/movie viewing holder(?). So here are my suggestions. I know  they won't listen to me. Maybe if I worked for Buzzfeed they would. 

Most recent photo

1. Update the home page. Seriously  bro. You're a  
multi million dollar business and you're website is boring. Look  I get it, you have a lot of titles to showcase and the conveyer belt of photos was cool. It still kind of is. But why does it still look like it was made with "my first website" tool? Take it from me , my site is by the gift of google. We put no money into this thing and because of that we are pretty basic and happy about it. But why is the layout on Ps3 and probably Xbox look way cooler then your desktop layout? Just punch it up  a bit.

2. Make the New Releases a priority- How many weeks can the same season of Bones or The Walking Dead or American Horror Story be considered a new release? I think Bones has been on the New release line for about 2 years and there only has been one new season. They need a hard timeline before moving the titles to their special category for the rest of their days.

3. Have a feature of the week. We all know Netflix has a vast library of movies and since we are living in the second coming of the ice age. Safely leaving the house has been almost an exercise in survival. So why not have a saturday night feature? This is obviously just for streaming.  But every Saturday pick out a movie to showcase people make a night of it. You can sell the whole thing for family togetherness. You know that mushy shit.

4-6. This one goes back to #1 but it's a bit more in-depth, I guess you can say . While you punch up the home page, why not make it a bit more interactive. When you scroll over the title you are interested in, they give like a 2 sentence synopsis and an accumulative rating on what your interest will be. That's cool and all but why can't they throw up a link to the trailer? Most people make discussions on what they want to see based off the trailer. I do like how they put up the new profile system. Because they know whats what. They can also add the highest rated review be added to that little box.

5. Have a Review section. Get guest writers, famous people or what ever write up something one why a certain title on Netflix is their favorite movie, t.v show, documentary. A ganglion people love Netflix. That's why Blockbuster went belly up and the law of averages says one or a bunch of them have to be some what famous in some way. I know they have a bunch of people on the youtubes throwing out free month subies   like candy. People like Epic Meal Time, Phillip Deference and Sourcefed ,Toby Turner, and probably a whole bunch of other people who live in the gated community of Plug City. Netflix can have them write up a little something about their favorite movie that happens to be on Netflix. Something like that.

6. Have trivia games on the site. This is pretty self explanatory. Instead of that bullshit Netflix Max shit that is slow to load and really annoying. Have a Seen it/ you don't know jack  type game that keeps a high score. It's a nice way to break the boredom and people like trivia

7. Clean up the categories better. All I am saying is that Discovery Channel specials don't count as documentaries. Have them be there own little section called TV specials. Speaking of TV. I am tired of waiting for season 5 of Breaking bad. I have been good no spoilers no hints no clips on Youtube. I have been tempted. Mainly this stems from my " Where is Batman the Animated Series ?" conundrum. They have Justice League, They have Batman Beyond, Where ad Fuck is BMTAS ? Come on now get on that shit.

8. More original programming or picking up canceled shows. Netflix is the perfect place for shows to get new life. Where would House of Cards be if it wasn't for Netflix… It'd be on Starz called Boss staring Kelsey Grammar, Where would LilyHammer be.. No where because it doesn't have mass appeal( I like little Stevie too but only playing guitar for the Boss), and what about Orange is the New Black? I hear that's a good show. These shows would have a limited run on TV, no question. But on Netflix the fans of the show can watch as much as the want and when they want. Also Netflix is known to given old shows a new life. Like Arrested  Development. To be fair I wasn't the biggest fan of season 4 , but I know people enjoyed it and it was left open ended. Netflix is basically a new relatively untested frontier for movies and T.V.


   I think this is a good place to stop. Look for all my complaints I do love Netflix, for realz yo. The instant game is  changing quickly. These are just suggestions that I think would help keep Netflix up at the top. Now on to something more serious. You guys hear about the Batman/Superman casting?

Saturday, February 1, 2014

John Candy on a cloudy day makes the world a better place.

   It's about 1 am , right before Super Bowl sunday. I am sitting in my living room because I have no life.  I already dozed off for 2 hours because I do feel a bit under the weather and I don't want to risk any problem because  later today I guess would be the annual Super Bowl game that we have every year.  But any way, I turn on one of the few movie channels I have and see that an old favorite is on. I settle down with my bag of Jack Link's Beef Jerky ( Plug City). Just a little side note I am not like one of those guys who eats Beef Jerky to be cool or because I love beef jerky. I eat it because it's surprisingly healthy. 13 grams of protein, 97% fat free, 0 trans fat, ok the sodium is pretty fucking high but its better to eat Beef Jerky then it is to get cookies or cake. I do recommend  Jack Link's original compared to other types because the serving sizes are nicely portioned. So I can keep my calories to a limit. 

This was my look for 5 years
   I could go on and on about beef jerky and how it's a healthy snack. If you pair it with a nice big cup of ice water and a few hershey dark chocolate fun sized bars for calcium. Just a good time. But that's not what I wanted to talk about John Candy. The larger then life comedic legend. We are coming up to the 20th anniversary of his passing. Which by the way I don't like saying anniversary of a passing?  I just want to talk about his work and what it meant to me. Just like my Bill Murray post Except more Machaully Cullken.   

  John Candy is in my top 5 canadians of all time. He is probably # 3 Right behind Renee Young and Dan Aykroyd depending on how I feel. He is above Mark Messier and Bryan  Adams. That's a solid starting 5  we could contend for the Cup.

 John Franklin Candy born on Halloween in 1950 in up there in the great white north. He got a few small time acting gigs but where he really got his start was ... well it was basically the  Canadian Saturday night live which was called SCTV ( Second City Television). Just like old school SNL which produced talents like Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, John Belushi. Second City was the launching pad for  Rick Morains, Harold Ramis, Shelly Long, Catherine O'Hara, and everyone's favorite parent Eugene Levy.  So really if there was a good comedy to come out in the late 70's-the early 90's it had one or more of these talented Canucks in it. Candy like the others transferred very well into the film business because he knew what worked for him. 

 If you look back to his movie career , he isn't really known for his leading roles. Sure Uncle Buck and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Canadian Bacon stand out among his best work. But really what he is known for in my opinion is his supporting roles. Think about it. The Candy is I think I said it before  Is this larger then life personality who's presence stole the scene every time he comes on. 

  Out of his starring roles these are my favorites
1. Uncle Buck 
3. The Great outdoors
4. Summer Rental
5. Armed and Dangerous- 
6. Only the Lonely - I may be the only one who likes this movie but I find it extremely relatable 

Doin' the mess around
 A nice top 5 . I know what you're thinking . Where is Spaceballs? If you remember he wasn't one of  the main stars. It was Bill Pullman or Paxton or Clinton I could never remember which BIll it was,  Rick Morains , and Daphne Zuniga.

 So here is my list of my favorite John Candy Supporting / Cameo roles that he is known for

1. SpaceBalls
2. Blues Brothers / Home Alone
3. Stripes
4. National Lampoon's vacation
6. Bruster's Millions
7. Splash
8. Follow that Bird 
9. Little Shoppe of Horrors
10.Rescuers Down under - He was the Bird 

    John Candy should be remembered as kind hearted man who was funny,full of life and brightened up everyone he knew life. He was taken from this world too  soon and he was a legend in the comedy game and has left some amazing work for us to remember him by.
    If you haven't seen any of his work and you're not that big into the Super Bowl. Go to netflix.  They Have SpaceBalls, PLanes trains and Automobiles and The Great Outdoors up on instant. So check them out and enjoy  
Cooler then his time