Tuesday, November 25, 2014

How to fix Gotham... New segment called Doctor Bryan fixes stuff

    Well, it's been a while since I last posted. Sorry about that. Funny, it always feels like I am apologizing for not writing. But that's not why I am writing today. No, I am back because I am now a doctor. Well, theoretically a doctor. Well, theoretically a TV doctor. Well, not really a paid TV doctor, no just a dude who watched a half season of the meh show Gotham. There will be Spoilers ahead. So go at your own pace.
                             
   Now don't get me wrong, I liked some parts of Gotham. As a Batman fan , I really saw it as a cool way of fleshing out the character of Jim Gordon.  By all means, the idea of seeing how corrupt the old pre Batman Gotham Pd was. But  it feels like something's a miss. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way , but I just want to share my opinions on how this show could be better and maybe ease the stress of maybe another slightly disappointing half season. 

This is pretty much how I would have done it. 

1. Gordon is brand new to GCPD , instead of being partnered with Bullock so soon. Maybe in like Batman year one, he is partnered with an unsympathetic to the audience,corrupt cop who maybe set Gordon up , like the Penguin issue or another. Someone who try to make Gordon fall in line but put him on the righteous path. So then later down the line , when he meets Harvey. Who would be a beat down former take on the world bullheaded idealist After some back and forth of the " you can't beat city hall" type bullshit.  So there would be tensions between the two and there could be a few episodes of Gordon doubting Harvey's loyalties because he is so stubborn. 

2. Bruce needed to a bit older. Look I like young Bruce and Alfred's chemistry. It's a high point for the show. But if Bruce was maybe 16 or 18 so he is just angry and getting ready to leave. Gordon could have been given a cold case "the Wayne murders" as a way of keeping him away from uncovering so dirty dealings in the pd. So when Jim and Bruce meet they have an uneasy relationship because Gordon is bring up some bad memories. But what we don't know is that Bruce has been secretly doing his own investigations. So by the end of the season, Gordon could uncover Bruce's hidden motives which sends Bruce over the deep end and he takes off. But like I said Bruce and Alfred are very good in this. This is just because we know who Bruce is about to become, this would just be a starting line.




3. I am not a fan of Edward Nygma. I don't know if it's who his character was written or the actor. He comes off as a creepy wiener. We all know Eddy Nygma as someone who used to be an inventor not as a that fancy c word that means works with dead people for the police. Which is oddly close to what they have Barry Allen doing on the new flash show. But whatever, he isn't an important enough character yet. So why should we know his last name. His identity could have been exposed a little later. So every interaction with him, Gordon or Harvey could have addressed him as Ed or Eddy. Which could have irritated him slightly and at in a later episode we could have seen a small break in Ed where he says " My name is not Eddy! It's Edward Nygma. But don't worry soon you'll never forget my name again." 

4. Harvey Dent aka Two Face and Thomas Elliot aka Hush , should be Bruce's age. For years Batman fans knew both Harvey and Tommy as Bruce's childhood friends. But I the show we see Tommy as a school yard bully who is the biggest pussy and Dent as pretty much an established D.A . I know the show isn't really about Bruce and his overall journey.  Even though it kinda is. These two could be used as a conscious for Bruce. Harvey being the good side (with a hidden darker side) and Tommy being the bad side (but played very low key) like he says stuff that doesn't come off as bad but it has terrible consequences. 


5. The female roles needed to be written by a female. Barbra and Montoya are possibly the two worst characters on this show. It's like they have Skyler White  and Lori Grimes in a lesbian relationship. Which would sound super offensive. If they didn't have Barbra and Montoya in a lesbian relationship. I get that it's a progressive world and having same sex couples in prime times shows is actually pretty cool. But they way that it's handled was poor. It feels that it was just put there last second. It should have been a slow build. They make mention to a prior relationship in an earlier episode so it looks like Montoya's dislike of Gordon more personal then professional. But when the Penguin issue is resolved Montoya and Gordon seem to be fine.  So her going behind Gordon's back makes no sense and cuts out her morale high ground, which she has been throwing in our face all season.
  This is getting two paragraphs. The problem with Barbra, is that she is so paint by the numbers basic. If she was anymore basic , she would have on yoga pants, uggs and a pumpkin spice latte. Boom, take that seasonally relevant joke. But seriously  when her character was in slight peril, I knew exactly what she was about to do. This is the mother of Batgirl, she has to be headstrong and self aware. She isn't a damsel in distress. Actually that's all I want. I want someone who is strong enough to fight the good fight instead of a speed bump. I do like the actress, just clean up the story lines. Strong women make for better characters I.E Machoine, Harriet Winslow, and anyone that Keira Knightly plays. 

6. Future rouges should be handled very carefully. There is going to come a point in this show where someone min creative might be feeling the pressure from fox and might jump the gun with some of Batman's rouges to spike the ratings up. Well, I totally get that but some villains do not exist with out ... You know who I am talking about. Let's not play dumb. He's a pretty cool and captivating character. But he simply can't be there yet or in the way we know him. If they want to start the Red hood robberies next season. I would 100% be on bored. But handle with care. 
7.  I wouldn't mind seeing a Victor  and Nora Freese  story line in the show. Victor could be an old Army buddy of Gordon. Let's play this out a tad. So Gordon and Barbra make up their diffs and Gordon gets a call from an old pal who has just moved to town to work for Gothcorp. He'll could be Gordon's morale compass. So when the shit gets too much. Old Vic will give Jim a solid pep talk and get his head right. Then later Barbra can set up Victor with Nora and they can do their shit off camera. But just to show that they exist, that's all I want. Heart of ice is the best Batman animated series episode.

8. More Alfred and Bullock interactions. If you saw the mid season finale you'd know what I mean. Sean Pentwee and Donal Logue are really good in their roles so having them work together more and have a small relationship would keep the lines between the Wayne estate and GCPD's resident good guys would be nice. 

 Umm. So I think that's it. These are just my opinion for a show I see tremendous potential in. I want to hear what you guys think of the show, what you like / dislike and if there is anything you'd want to see. I do live tweet this show every week. But since it's off until January it looks like I will be live tweeting Monday night football or my boredom. I am @Bpmcc17 if you want to follow.
Just dance baby.... Just dance !
                                          

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Some How I managed to make a top 10 list ... It only took me 10 days

  It's been a while since I have done one of these. But we are living in exciting times.  There is / was (depending on what day you read this) a  12 day 24 hour Simpson Marathon. What does that mean? Well, that's 552 episodes + a movie.



 When I first heard that this... monuments, historic, time consuming, insane event was going to take place. I went through the normal 3 stages of fan boy-dum. 1. Squealing, 2. Telling my friends , and 3. Canceling social obligations like work or going out. I spent the first few days just glued to my couch and I don't think I put on pants for 3 days.
  So now how do I complete this daunting task of taking 552 episodes and compressing it into a top 10 list? I will tell you, I started this on day 2 and it's now day 9 or  10 depending on how far I make it tonight.
 I do have some rules. Unfortunately I will not use specialty Episodes like the Tree house of horrors or the clip episodes even though I do Love the Wiggum P.I spin off segment. This is just straight up and down regular episodes.
                             
OK lets get this going. 

10. Bart After Dark-Season 9, This is the one where Bart works at the "witch's house" which turns out  to be the historic Burlesque house. Homer and Bart try to hide this from Marge, but she finds out after returning home from cleaning up an oil spill with Lisa and she is not happy. She gathers up the towns uptight citizens to get rid of the house. But this leads to a fantastic musical number.  Alot of their problems are ended with a musical number.... This might be a theme.

9. That 90's show-Season 19. This is a flashback episode. The kids discover that Marge went to College. It plays out that Marge becomes infatuated with a college Professor and Homer becomes a hit musician in a Nirvana style bad called sadism. I like the episodes where they expand in the " 10 year" history that Marge and Homer and it shows how much Homer loves Marge.  Also its pretty spot on , on just how douchey the 90's were. Throw in a Futurama and a back to the Future reference then I am all about it.

8.  To Cur with Love-Season 24, This is the one where we fid on of the root causes on why Homer resents his father. As Homer remembers that Grandpa Simpson gave away his dog for no reason and when he ran away to save his dog, Homer saw that his dog Bongo was happy in his new home. Later we find out that Grandpa was actually saving Bongo by giving him away , and gave Homer a photo that showed Bongo still loved him. Look I am a huge dog person and have a soft spot for stories about Dogs. Plus they use the Harry Nilsson song Me and my arrow in a well placed time to almost make me get all emotional.

7. Cape Feare - Season 5. This is the Simpsons  take on Cape Fear. Sideshow Bob is sending out death threats to Bart . The Simpsons get put into witness protection on a house boat. Bob finds the Simpsons and plans to kill them but is out witted by Bart when he asks Bob to sing the entire score of the H.M.S Pinafore. I am a big Kelsey Grammar guy and I think he is a tremendous talent, and hearing him sing maybe for 30 seconds . Is incredibly enjoyable.

6. The City of New York Vs Homer Simpson-Season 9.  Barney loses a game so he has to become the Designated Driver . Barney  is going through some withdrawals and then takes Homer's car on a month long bender.  Homer receive notice from the city of New York to get his car which is parked in the middle of the World Trade Centers. Homer gives a hilarious back story on why he hates the Big Apple.  The gang persuades him to go back. As Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie tour the city and have a great time . Poor Homer is having a shitty time after eating Karvkalosh and drinking Crab soda. I like this episode because it doesn't hold back on how much of a character New York is. And Since I am from the state of New York, have visited some of the sites and share a common dislike for the hustle and bustle of the city. I can relate pretty easily . This episode was taken off the air for 5 years after the September 11th attacks. One of the producers said that it was a mistake to pull the episode but wanted to be respectful to everyone.

*** I love their take on Sid and Nancy. Using Chocolate as a metaphore a drugs and alcohol . Genius***

5. Hurricane Neddy- Season 8. A hurricane comes through Springfield and the only person who suffers any damage is Ned Flanders. After the towns folk do a slap dash job of fixing up his house, Ned has a mental break. Turns out that Old Neddy has been bottling up his rage for decades and it hit a breaking point. Ned was raised by two beatnik hippies who did not want to discipline their out of control son. So they let a Professor Dr. Foster use the new theory of "Spankalogical Protocol". It's a good episode because Flanders is one of those characters that says some crazy ass shit but you never pick it up the first time because he is so nice.

4. Raging Abe Simpson and his Grumbling grandson " In the curse of  the Flying Hellfish" Season 8 . I love Grandpa Simspon and his stories. After the funeral of Asa Phelps (one of the Hellfish) Grandpa and Mister Burns realize they are the last two Hellfish and as the story tells us the last surviving Hell fish wins the tontine of stolen Nazi Paintings. After a few failed assignation attempts by Mr. Burns. Grandpa has to bunk up with Bart. While Grandpa tries to convince Bart that he isn't a senile old coot , Burns steals his key (which is an important plot device). Bart and Grandpa end the episode with a stronger relationship. Like I said I love Grandpa Simpson stories and this is the best one.

3. Kamp Kursty and - Season 4-Season 4 is the start of a 5 straight season roll of fantastic episodes. The start of the run is Kamp Kursty, The Simpsons kids and most of their school yard chums go to a summer camp ran by their favorite Tv Clown Kursty. But it was run by corner cutting bullies. The campers took the camp back. The reason I like this episode is because it confirmed my opinions on sleep away camps. They are not what they are advertised and I was like 7 when it came out so I was very opinionated at the time.

2. You only Move twice - Season 8.A new plant is looking for an employee with some experience.  First choice , Waylon Smithers, he says no. So they go to the next most tenured employee. Homer who promptly says yes.  Though he never talked it out with his family and now they have to move to a brand new town that is too perfect. Everyone has a terrible time at their new  digs. Lisa is  allergic to all the flowers, Bart is put into a remedial class to learn cursive, Marge starts drinking because the new house cleans itself, but Homer is crushing it at his new job. Albert Brooks guest stars as Hank Scorpio as a super friendly, aggressively upbeat, and all around great boss... who happens to be a Super Villain. I love the twist and I love how even though Homer is successful he will give it all away for his family's happiness.

1. Homer at Bat - Season 3. Its time for the plant's softball team to start the season and Homer is looking to do some damage with his new hand made bat " WonderBat". The Team is one win away from becoming league Champions but Mr. Burns hires a whole bunch of ringers. Not just any ringers... Ken Griffey Jr, Don Mattingly, Darryl Strawberry, Steve Sax, Ozzie Smith, Wade Boggs, Rodger Clemens, Mike Sosica, and Jose Consesco.. That was from memory people.  But after a few unforeseen events the Ringers cannot make the Championship game. Well, everyone except Darryl Strawberry. If you love baseball, softball and the Simpsons like I do, this is the perfect episode.
                                       

 

 Well, this has been an adventure on its own. The Marathon is just to wrap up. I hope you enjoyed my list. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ooh ooh child, movie mayhem is back , ooh ohh child your day just got brighter

    I don't have a lot of time. But this is serious business. Like super ultra omega crazy information.

                                    


        GO SEE GAURDAINS OF THE GLAXAY RIGHT NOW !!!

 Ok, now that I said that here's why. It's one of the best Marvel movies to date. It might not be the greatest. Sure it has it flaws. It's an origin story that introducing a whole universe of characters that the main stream non comic book reading public may not be aware of yet. So there is some cheesey , ham fisted, obvious dialogue that is noticeable but that doesn't take away from the heart, charm and fun of this movie.

  I am amazed on how all the actors involved stepped their game up to a different level in this quirky, offbeat, sci fi comedy. Chris Pratt proves he is a leading man and might be able to match barbs with one  Tony Stark of the two should ever meet, cough cough Avengers 3 cough. Zoe Saldana changed the game for female characters in comic book movies. She was a sweet blend of aggressive, intelligent,graceful, funny and green as in color not in experience.  Shockingly Dave Bautista who was going to kick ass anyway psychically but was a scene stealer with his comedic timing. Finally the Bromance of Rocket and Groot were the heart and conscience of the film. Now for the Bad guys , you'll have to forgive me but I am not fimilair with Lee Pace but I give him and Karen Gilian who should be my wife a lot of credit for committing to their roles and being in head to toe blue make up, prosthetics and being unrecognizable. The entire cast knocked it out to the park.

  Now I don't want to spoil anything more then my little coughing episode that happened earlier. But.... Some shit is going to go down in the  Marvel cinematic universe. Phase 2 is just about over and phase three is set up to be insane. Stay after the credits and don't freak out. Have fun with it. Yeah , i think that's good enough for now


P.s - the sound track was amazing ..... Seriously iTunes that sucker and jam out.  

P.p.s- I wrote this on my iPad getting ready for work so grade me on a curve of 80%. 


Monday, May 5, 2014

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and the case of the Cleverly placed sonyproduct... I mean It's Movie Mayhem # 2 or whatever

                                       


   Well, good evening friends. Welcome back to the most mediocre review in the world. Welcome back to Movie Mayhem. It's been a while since I posted... Just about a month, also it's been a month since we did the podcast thing. Sorry things have picked up with everyone not being on the same schedules, people finishing up school, agents of shield picking up (lol jk that show is a garbage). I'm just saying the slow paced winter is done and now the go-go spring and summer have taken over. 
                                                 
   This weeks feature is : The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - secret of the ooze ? Wait that's not right. There wasn't that much ooze in this one. The amazing Spider-Man 2 - the new vivo computer is available. No, that's not it ok it's just Amazing Spider-Man 2. All kidding aside. It was very good. You should absolutely  see this movie. 

  I'll be honest I went into this movie with very low expectations. I was not a fan for the first Amazing Spider-Man. I felt they sacrificed story to shove a mediocre love story with two young up in comers who one might be a crack addict. But this one was different. They really went for it on this. I'm still shocked by the last 25 minutes of the movie. If you're a Spider-Man comic book fan, you'll be able to piece together what will happen pretty quick but will be stunned with its execution. 

The Future is bright for this one. I feel it in my heart 


  Let's get into the performances. Andrew Garfield did a much better job this time around. I think he kicked his habit, he was speaking in almost full sentences as the voice over of spiderman. Emma Stone will forever be the girl next door. She was engaging and adorable, I'm pretty sure she is set up to have a great run a lead actress. Jamie Foxx came into Spider-Man under a lot of scrutiny and no one thought he could cross-over into the comic book movie world. Foxx has been in the zone with the critically acclaimed more serious roles like Django, Ray, New Year's Eve, and shit like that. But he created a Max Dillion/Electro that you almost felt for, until his point of no return. The makers of the movie didn't handcuff his powers. Which I thought was a nice touch, Because we are now only seeing a villain(s) who we all know and want to see their fun powers but we don't because the hero has to win. But they really gave him his due. This brings me to Dean Dehaan  ,I think that's his name. He played the Harry Osborn/Green Goblin and he was great. The way they had his character arch over the whole movie was like I said... Great. At first you could tell that he was struggling a little with the character he didn't know if he could be intense with his dialogue in scenes  with Peter Parker but as his story fleshed out he opened up and explored it. He gave by far one of the best performances in the movie. Coming in a close second is photoshopped Dennis Learhy. Ground breaking stuff from the Irish hammer. 




Take it easy buddy. I still love ya 
    This was not the quintessential (like that) Spider-Man movie. It was good but it had it's faults and goofy parts that could make you check out. I mean Cgi Paul Gamete face is tough to swallow and really he didn't need to be their but what ever you have to plant your squeal seeds. There were something's where I wished they gave a slight more attention to but whatever they had a time crunch. 

  In the end I give this movie a solid 7 out of 10. Not even close to Cap 2 but it was a good Spider-Man movie. Like the second best Spider-Man movie which goes Sam 2 Amazballs 2, Sam 1,Amazballs1 and that is it. See you next time. 

(For some reason even when I tell spell check I want to leave Amazballs in, they replace it with assemble. I think I fixed it.)

Friday, April 4, 2014

Movie Mayhem 2014: Captain America Due the Winner Winner Chicken dinner

YEAAAAAAAAAAH BAYBAY !!!


So here we are once again. It's that time of the year that I know you all have been waiting and as the natural showman that I am. So who am I to keep this boring first three sentence going and I should just get to my point.... But While I have you here I did try the Waffle taco... It was blahhh. Maybe I had one that didn't put its best Waffle foot forward because it doesn't travel well. But any who , It's time for

 MOVIE MOTHER FUCKING MAYHEM!!!!
                                 

 Yes, your favorite day late and dollar short movie review blog posts are back. And Still with in opening weekend. This week The gang and I hit up Captain America 2 The Winter Solider and on a quick review I would say that.... This was a great .


    You automatically give the Avengers the top slot of best Marvel movies because it was an eye orgy of awesome. But Cap 2 is strongly taking the #3 and maybe the #2 spot. I haven't been that impressed by a solo movie since Iron Man.

    All the actors brought a new level to their roles. Sam Jackson was a boss and really exploring theonion that is Nick Fury, Chris Evans shined as Cap, Scar Jo was super Hot and actually belonged in this movie, Anthony Mackie was a solid addition as The Falcon. The whole cast did a great job and they worked well in this world that marvel has made




  I don't want to go too deep into this movie because I think you should go and see it because it is worth every penny. Just maybe not 3d. Which is what we did, while I don't regret seeing it in the third dimension. It was not a game changer. It had some cool spots but there are other movies that use 3d better like Spider-Man, the hobbit or the oogiloves .There is a whole bunch of things that will make you grunt with joy while you see Cap kill it with his rag tag team of highly trained friends.Ohhhhh so much awesome.


   Sorry bout the limited Mayhem. I just think you should see this movie for your self. It's fun full of action and goodies.  Also stay for the atleast one of the after credits. If you know who the Winter Solider is you should stay for both and you will understand why that is another basket full of puppies , marshmallows and winning lottery tickets.
                                        



Saturday, March 29, 2014

Second stop into Insomniac Theater

                             

  I am trying to space these out because I think I might die. I don't even know if I actually have the right kind of insomnia , because some nights I'll be up until my alarm rings head off to work , come home, run , shower, play some videa games, and still be wide awake. But on other nights I will fall asleep on my glasses thus leading to that awkward wake up moment of "oh shit ! I fuckin broke them. I am fucked.... Oh wait they aren't bent at all. " so really it's not fair for me to say I am an insomniac. But since it's a catchy title I will keep it for now until I figure out what the hell is going on in my brain.

   Back on topic. So I kept the trend of watching two movies. One that wasn't meant to be taken as anything more then what it is. Low budget, self deprecating, (spelt that right on the first tyme) and campy to say the least. Only to follow it up by a movie that was "crafted" better. Basically a movie not meant for straight to DVD release. So the two movies were Wrestlemaniac and Ass Backwards. Both on hulu +. Let's get into it.


Good way to start a movie 
  Wrestlemaniac is the M list horror movie that stars Rey Mysterio sr ( wwe superstar Rey Mysterio's papa) and a bunch of to bad for porn "actors". The group of "actors"who basically where the mystery inccourperafed gang with a fat guy instead of scooby, one extra girl, and no common sense amongst other short comings. Are on a road trip to somewhere in Mexico get side tracked and go to a town I didn't even bother remembering the name because it had no relevance to the movie. But the reason for the road trip is to find a sweet ass bitching location for their plumber based porn. Yup the lead dickhead who name is Alfonzo is directing and staring (only truly talented filmmakers can do that) . You know what the porno isn't even the focus of this movie. Basically the movie is trying to have Luchador wrestling being main weapon of violence for the monster which is Rey Mysterio sr who is from what I can guesstimate is about 5'4 and 235 so he looks like a bowling ball with legs and a chest tatto. Not saying he was bad , he was the best part of the movie. The only problem I have with him is that he used no Luchador moves in the whole movie. He plays a frankenwrestler so some wrestling moves should be on the table. Just saying. So el maskerado or whatever which I think means the masked cowboy in Mexican picks off the 6 worst examples of human existence one by one. First goes drunk slut, then stoner guy, then Alfonzo the scumbag, then Fats (aka the writer and directors take oninternet wrestling fans), then odd boobs, and then big boobs who is  also a mechanic and the worst hider of all time.  No one lives and you shouldn't care. I give the movie a 1.5 which it struggled to get to. There is no fun in this movie at all. Don't watch it.
Just like in Jurassic Park... But Slutty 

  Next up is Ass Backwards. Which stars June Diane Raphael and Casey Wilson star in this female cast driven movie? You might know June who has a great podcast which is one of my favorites called "How did this get made " and she has been on shows like the New Girl, Party Down and Parks and Rec. and Casey Wilson was on Saturday night live for one season and has been on the grossly underrated show Happy endings until it was canceled and she has done small guest spots on other things. Both are very talented and funny woman and  showed it off in this witty comedy. The two play best friends who met at a beauty pageant when they were kids and needless to say haven't moved on do to their delusions of grandeur. I really liked this movie and do recommend you checking it out. I don't want to write a lot about it you should see this movie. Also it's really easy to write about movies you hate but it's harder to write about movies you liked. I give the movie a 5.5 out of 10. Give it a look, it's a good movie and you'll laugh at the chemistry these two ladies have with each other as they constantly miss the point. It's just funny. Though It did not fair well with other critics.  

  That's it errvery body. Now that I've done Netflix and Hulu + it looks like I have to go on the youtube to find movies. My greatest challenge to date. Well, besides learning how to float in the water. I can't do it I get too scared





Thursday, March 27, 2014

A little update and the first 2 installments of insomniac theater

Hey guys I just wanted to post a quick little something to give you the old heads up on what we've been up to lately.
                                 
                                    

   Not that much. Just kidding, calm down everyone. If you listen to the podcasts and I am sure you guys do. You have not

iced that our sound has been muffled. Well, we fixed that and have taken the appropriate  steps to give you high quality podcast noise. It turns out that the microphone on my Ipad got covered in dust and grime or something. After a good cleaning you can hear Mikey's chuckle loud and clear.


  Another thing I wanted to tell you guys is that I am A. going to finish that 3 part saga of Marvel Vs D.C the battle of the medias and B. Along with the return of Movie mayhems I am going to start the insomniac theater.
The Wonka Knows 
    Insomniac theater came about because I can't fall asleep any more and I need to burn my brain out in a constructive and cheap way before I go crazy pants. So what I am going to do is search and dive the depths of Netflix, Hulu + , Youtube, and my own dvd collection for movies that I peak my interest. I will not review new movies that come out on the big screen. Nope , that's for the mayhem. I will also be live tweeting them on my twitter . That sentence was redundant but if you want to watch and follow along with me. I swear I don't hold anything back. Like I hold all movies to a higher well thought standard that no one. AND I MEAN NO ONE !!! Can live up to. I actually did two movies already. So I will give you a little bit of a taste.


The closer you are the clearer it is 
  The First film up is " Iron Sky"-The heart warming tale of Nazi's who have been living on the moon. Look I get they knew this was not meant to be a serious movie. But movies like that are pretty much a way for young screen writers, directors, and directors of photography  to get some experience  and try some new shit without a major box office flop. But this movie was just down right offensive.
 Like you ever have a relative who when you were 10-19 you found really funny because you didn't fully understand what they were saying and you barely knew anyone besides your small circle of friends. But then you grow up and start realizing that the world is pretty fucked and what your relative is saying is grossly offensive... Well this make your relative look like Wayne Brady. They were trying to offend someone but I could never grasp who was the #1 target was. I guess nazi's because they turned out to be dumb, even though they mastered space travel and moon colonization in the fucking 40's. For example the "new" hitler was on the verge of killing his ex girlfriend and electrocuted himself after doing the Hail move.

TIME OUT, They turned a Black model White, never told him, said they did him a favor, He became
This is an actual scene in the movie 
homeless, Went to a Charlie Chaplin movie, went back to space, and turned black again to only fall in love with a Nazi.  I shit you not! This movie was crazy.  The writer must have hated Sarah Palin because the Female President who didn't have a name besides President of the United States and she is the fucking worst! She took a speech from Space Nazi ( Even if they wrote the greatest speech every they are nazis) , She wants to be a war time president because they always get reelected, Also she claimed the moon as American soil  because there is an alternate fuel source up there only reason why is because we put the flag up there in 1969. But if you think about it the moon belongs to Germany because thats where the nazi's started.  I can go on and on about it for another 6 paragraphs but nothing. Characters were poorly fleshed out. Also they called a solider "Moon Commander ". I've never heard any military  call a decorated soldier  Location Commander. Like someone who is stationed here is called Long Island Commander Jeff. Nonsense. But like I said this movie is dumb. So I gave it a 2 out of 10. But you can get through it quickly . Also there is a lot of the High heel influenced violence.
4 more Years
                                 


"Trust me John. People will believe this love story" 
   Second Film is The Raven Staring John Cusack , Alice "Big Boobs" Eve and a bunch of people who kinda look alike. Going into this I thought this movie had one of those bad reps by the critics, Box office numbers and would really be a perfect Netflix gem. How I was mistaken. The Movie itself    is about an hour and fifty something minutes. And by minute 24 you stop caring.  The Story is someone is using Edgar Allen Poe ( who is played by John Cusack. Don't worry they will let you know he is Poe. Over, over, over ,over and over again) stories to kill people .But  I guess they wanted to  put us in the time when Poe was a struggling , down on his luck, creative writing teaching, only having one drink alcoholic, social butterfly and hot chick bedding time in his life. You know before he was really famous but he was famous. So somehow creepy cool Poe is in a secret romance with Alice Eve but is scared of her " Gun toting father" because in the late 1800s carrying a gun is out of the norm. So the Baltimore Pd  suspect Poe until Alice Eve gets kidnapped at some party. Then the game starts. Or whatever, I was so bored that I started cleaning my room and never missed a beat. There is no real glaring holes in the stories except for the historical inaccuracies, and advance police work that moved the story along. My problem is the fact the makers of this movie killed they're ending by just letting the big reveal go by with no music or no tension rising elements. It pissed me off to no end. So I just have to say I hate this fucking movie so much. It gets 1 out of 10 . Don't watch it and seriously fuck this movie.
What happened to you Bro?

   So that is that it's now 3 am and I think I might watch Ghostbusters 2 which is now on netflix. Check out the Tweeter feed for more insomniac theater.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Marvel Vs Dc part 1 of 3 or whatever. Tv ,Video Games….. and Waffle tacos

 I just want to start this post with a simple fact. I have been flustered the past couple of weeks. My brain has been basically scrambled because I am not ready for this. I haven't prepared my mind, my soul and most importantly my body for this event. I feel that I will crumble when the day comes.

 No I am not talking about the WWE Network. I haven't bought into it yet but I have heard very little from Andrew, Mikey, and Nick. I am actually just talking to them now because I have concerns about our shitty location scouting for our podcast. By they way you should check us out  we are on the iTunes and on Podbean ( if ay don't like the iTunes )… Will it change your life? No. Will it make you laugh? More then likely we are pretty funny. Will it make you … umm lost my point but you know give it a listen, you will have a reaction. That's all I can promise you but back to my original point. I am grossly under prepared for what is about to happen!!!  Taco's made of Waffles and being sold at taco bell!!  

 Everyone knows that waffles are the # 2 breakfast food right below pancakes  and above bacon/ eggs they are in an eternal  struggle to what is the best side dish to go with pancakes.  Well waffles have now changed the fucking game. No longer will waffles sit out the have food stuffed in-between them game.  Waffles has let the universe know that they are ready for a higher class of war. Yes I have heard of Burgers made of waffles and other waffles like sandwiches. But this is crape territory. Oh man I just had an Idea a breakfast burrito with a pancake wrap !!!!!!!!!  This war will have it's causalities… What side are you on? Pancakes literally the least offensive food in the world or Waffles a darker more adult like breakfast food…

 Time out was that not a perfect seg-way into my actual post topic? Marvel Vs DC movies/tav shows. Lets talk about it some because it's a topic I find interesting and well really the only thing I have a decent  handle on.
The 90's 
                               

 Lets start at Tv shows. Dating back to the 30's comic book stories have been translated in to radio shows and then progressing to Tv. The first real big popular comic book based TV show was the Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves and since then more and more comic book characters have been coming up through the live action waves. Trust me I will get to animation , but not now.  Each company has their big hits but really one company has been more confident with their shows.
 D.C has pulled zero punches with their shows. They put established characters into shows. Unlike Marvel who after the Hulk hasn't given a character a run as a t/v series. We all know Marvel owns it in the movies which I will get to.  Lets take a look at a small list of T.v shows from both companies

                                      D.C                                                Marvel
                                    Batman                                        The Incredible Hulk
                               Wonder womans                                   Spider man
                                   The Flashs                                        Nightman ( who the fuck is this)
                            Lois and Clark- Superman                        Mutant X - Xmen I guess
                                     Smallville                                       Blade: the series
                                     Arrow                                            Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
                           

Successful for a reason…. He's throwing a Bear 
The D.C shows have had multiple seasons and varying success. While the only Marvel show that had more then a 2 year run was the Hulk. Well, who knows how long S.H.I.E.L.D will last for. Disney put a good number of eggs in that basket. Even though no ones knows what that basket is holding for the universe.  So the Winner of the Live action show is = D.C and will continue to win because they are building up character so they can make movies about, if they so Choose…. Blue Beetle ?????? Though I have watched a few Smallville episodes and the first season of Arrow. I know they are not good but they appeal to an audience that has deep pockets. But, that could all change in the next couple of years with the deal Marvel and Netflix worked out.  DareDevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and Jessica Jones. Which is smart because these 4 shows will go right to the fans that want to see them along with the netflix user who says " Well this looks interesting. Maybe I'll watch one season of Breaking Bad… OMG THIS IS AMAZING"… By the way the full Season 5 is up. So I win !!!!!!!!!
Let the world hear your song 

---- Time Out I forgot that D.C has a Gotham T.V Show coming out. Marvel argument is invalid they lose. Due to the Batman Formula. Which is for those who don't know… Crime Drama+ Gritty world + Batman rouge's Gallery + Alfred = Success with Birds of Preybeing the exception.  That one was ahead of it's time. ------

What next should I go with video games? Because lets face it , Arkham Asylum is hands down the best series of games and they keep on  making Spiderman games with very little popularity and if you think about it long enough. Spider man should be a fantastic game. But I am not a big Video game guy so I won't embarrass myself in pretending to give a list. Lets  just move on.

  This concludes part 1. I would have continued but I spent so much time talking about the wafflco or the taffle  or the Breakfast Taco and pancakes. So  breaking this up into different post should be good for all parties. Plus I was doing some research and the animation part is going to be a doozy. There is so much content that I can cover. But that's a post for another day. If you have any add ons or questions. Hit me up here or on the Facebook site. Lots of fun to be had with this topic.


Winners of Round 1… What will round 2 bring 
                                         


Sunday, February 9, 2014

In Case You Were Planning On It: Independence Day 2

Welcome to a new section of Underrated Heroes that I like to call "In Case You Were Planning On It" in which we take an idea that should never have been in your head in the first place, and explain why you shouldn't do it. This way you get to save yourself from losing some money, feeling disappointed, and hiding your face whenever said idea is mentioned in public. It also fulfills the court-mandated community service that many of our writers still haven't started, so we're looking at a win-win. First up: Independence Day 2.


The Obvious Reason:  No Will Smith

This sequel to the 1996 classic will not feature Will Smith.  Now before your mind takes you anywhere down the road of "Well it can still be a good movie without him.." go take a shower and in that shower think of the memorable moments of Independence Day:

1) Will Smith punching an alien in the face and quipping "Welcome to Earth!"



2) Will Smith dropping a virus from Jeff Goldblum's GameBoy into the mothership of an alien race with technical advancements thousands of years ahead of our comprehension and then barely making it out of the explosion.

Dat 1996 wifi speed.
3) Will Smith's dog jumping over cars to barely make it out of an explosion.

If Boomer here makes it into the sequel I may go see it.

4) Will Smith dancing down the aisle on his wedding day.

Yea, this is from the same movie.


I'm not saying these were the only memorable moments of the movie, but try to picture the movie without these moments. Will's character, both within and outside the script, add depth to this movie that, as much as I hate to say it, can't simply be filled in by The Rock.

Again, Will Smith was not the only star of the film by any means, but what he brought to the movie could not have been compensated by anyone else in the cast. His wit, his badass aura, the way he can make you relate to him in a circumstance that you will probably never be able to relate to, all gave the movie qualities that could not have been replaced by an abducted redneck or former rabbi.


The Other Obvious Reason:  Aliens Are Played Out

Sure, movies about alien invasion have been made since The Day the Earth Stood Still in 1951. But none of these movies were quite as balanced as Independence Day. It had the goofiness of Mars Attacks!. It had the horror of Alien. It had the action of Predator. It begged the question of "What if we really aren't alone?" as well as any movie in the alien genre, yet stood out with its ability to still make me feel patriotic watching it even as the NSA monitors my viewing habits.

But more importantly, it was the first to successfully combine all of these elements. Since Independence Day, there have been good alien movies that focused just on action and humor (Men in Black) and some that zone in on the mystery surrounding the idea of extraterrestrial life (Signs, Super 8).
Men in Black
But since Independence Day, most ventures into the alien movie genre resemble Battleship or Keanu Reeve's The Day The Earth Stood Still remake.
Battleship aka Please Join the Navy
These movies and others like them all tried to be what ID2 is trying to be, which is the next Independence Day,  but instead of using their budget and technology as a tool to bring a good concept and plot to life, they relied on CGI to cover up the lack of any thoughtfulness or creativity.


The latter is probably the fate of Independence Day 2.  Hollywood is still in a stage where churning out green screen spectacles is prioritized above taking the time to craft a good movie.  This is the reason we have a fourth Transformers movie. Studios are just buying licenses to franchises that they know will draw people in to their next CGI demo. In fact, they've done this so much that it's probably best to expect a new alien movie to follow suit. 


This isn't to say the genre is dead. Once people stop paying money for movies that clearly don't try further than visual effects, the entire industry might start getting better. Who knows? This may even happen before ID2 comes out. But until I see any indication of that happening, my stance is clear.





In case you were planning on seeing Independence Day 2:

Will's actual reaction to Independence Day 2.


Saturday, February 8, 2014

This is for your benefit …Please let me help you ,I love you

                                     

  There comes a time in every customers life where they feel like its time for a change. right now I am at that point. I have been a Netflix subscriber for  a while now. The first time I obtained a Netflix subscription was when I bought my PS3 and got the free instant disc which gave me a free month of Instant and Dvd. But when I made my commitment to keeping instant because I could not be held to the responsibility of returning a dvd. It's too much pressure on a person. No late fees and no return date? So many opportunities to lose it. So I axed the Dvd real quick. Like most of the world when they said you will pay 2 separate prices. Which was a bold move and I love that whole changing name shit
they tried. Hilarious move, why change the name? Ihop does breakfast lunch and dinner but they're still called the international house of pancakes, they don't change it every 4 hours.

    But I am not here to talk about pancakes. As much as I want to and I would love talking about those soft, fluffy, sweet, fill, cakes of pure heaven.  No, I am here to talk about what I can suggest to my favorite application/website/movie viewing holder(?). So here are my suggestions. I know  they won't listen to me. Maybe if I worked for Buzzfeed they would. 


Most recent photo
             

1. Update the home page. Seriously  bro. You're a  
multi million dollar business and you're website is boring. Look  I get it, you have a lot of titles to showcase and the conveyer belt of photos was cool. It still kind of is. But why does it still look like it was made with "my first website" tool? Take it from me , my site is by the gift of google. We put no money into this thing and because of that we are pretty basic and happy about it. But why is the layout on Ps3 and probably Xbox look way cooler then your desktop layout? Just punch it up  a bit.

2. Make the New Releases a priority- How many weeks can the same season of Bones or The Walking Dead or American Horror Story be considered a new release? I think Bones has been on the New release line for about 2 years and there only has been one new season. They need a hard timeline before moving the titles to their special category for the rest of their days.


3. Have a feature of the week. We all know Netflix has a vast library of movies and since we are living in the second coming of the ice age. Safely leaving the house has been almost an exercise in survival. So why not have a saturday night feature? This is obviously just for streaming.  But every Saturday pick out a movie to showcase people make a night of it. You can sell the whole thing for family togetherness. You know that mushy shit.



4-6. This one goes back to #1 but it's a bit more in-depth, I guess you can say . While you punch up the home page, why not make it a bit more interactive. When you scroll over the title you are interested in, they give like a 2 sentence synopsis and an accumulative rating on what your interest will be. That's cool and all but why can't they throw up a link to the trailer? Most people make discussions on what they want to see based off the trailer. I do like how they put up the new profile system. Because they know whats what. They can also add the highest rated review be added to that little box.

5. Have a Review section. Get guest writers, famous people or what ever write up something one why a certain title on Netflix is their favorite movie, t.v show, documentary. A ganglion people love Netflix. That's why Blockbuster went belly up and the law of averages says one or a bunch of them have to be some what famous in some way. I know they have a bunch of people on the youtubes throwing out free month subies   like candy. People like Epic Meal Time, Phillip Deference and Sourcefed ,Toby Turner, and probably a whole bunch of other people who live in the gated community of Plug City. Netflix can have them write up a little something about their favorite movie that happens to be on Netflix. Something like that.

6. Have trivia games on the site. This is pretty self explanatory. Instead of that bullshit Netflix Max shit that is slow to load and really annoying. Have a Seen it/ you don't know jack  type game that keeps a high score. It's a nice way to break the boredom and people like trivia

7. Clean up the categories better. All I am saying is that Discovery Channel specials don't count as documentaries. Have them be there own little section called TV specials. Speaking of TV. I am tired of waiting for season 5 of Breaking bad. I have been good no spoilers no hints no clips on Youtube. I have been tempted. Mainly this stems from my " Where is Batman the Animated Series ?" conundrum. They have Justice League, They have Batman Beyond, Where ad Fuck is BMTAS ? Come on now get on that shit.

8. More original programming or picking up canceled shows. Netflix is the perfect place for shows to get new life. Where would House of Cards be if it wasn't for Netflix… It'd be on Starz called Boss staring Kelsey Grammar, Where would LilyHammer be.. No where because it doesn't have mass appeal( I like little Stevie too but only playing guitar for the Boss), and what about Orange is the New Black? I hear that's a good show. These shows would have a limited run on TV, no question. But on Netflix the fans of the show can watch as much as the want and when they want. Also Netflix is known to given old shows a new life. Like Arrested  Development. To be fair I wasn't the biggest fan of season 4 , but I know people enjoyed it and it was left open ended. Netflix is basically a new relatively untested frontier for movies and T.V.

 9. COME ON ALL READY I WANT TO WATCH BREAKING BAD!
                               

   I think this is a good place to stop. Look for all my complaints I do love Netflix, for realz yo. The instant game is  changing quickly. These are just suggestions that I think would help keep Netflix up at the top. Now on to something more serious. You guys hear about the Batman/Superman casting?


Saturday, February 1, 2014

John Candy on a cloudy day makes the world a better place.


   It's about 1 am , right before Super Bowl sunday. I am sitting in my living room because I have no life.  I already dozed off for 2 hours because I do feel a bit under the weather and I don't want to risk any problem because  later today I guess would be the annual Super Bowl game that we have every year.  But any way, I turn on one of the few movie channels I have and see that an old favorite is on. I settle down with my bag of Jack Link's Beef Jerky ( Plug City). Just a little side note I am not like one of those guys who eats Beef Jerky to be cool or because I love beef jerky. I eat it because it's surprisingly healthy. 13 grams of protein, 97% fat free, 0 trans fat, ok the sodium is pretty fucking high but its better to eat Beef Jerky then it is to get cookies or cake. I do recommend  Jack Link's original compared to other types because the serving sizes are nicely portioned. So I can keep my calories to a limit. 

This was my look for 5 years
   I could go on and on about beef jerky and how it's a healthy snack. If you pair it with a nice big cup of ice water and a few hershey dark chocolate fun sized bars for calcium. Just a good time. But that's not what I wanted to talk about John Candy. The larger then life comedic legend. We are coming up to the 20th anniversary of his passing. Which by the way I don't like saying anniversary of a passing?  I just want to talk about his work and what it meant to me. Just like my Bill Murray post Except more Machaully Cullken.   

  John Candy is in my top 5 canadians of all time. He is probably # 3 Right behind Renee Young and Dan Aykroyd depending on how I feel. He is above Mark Messier and Bryan  Adams. That's a solid starting 5  we could contend for the Cup.

 John Franklin Candy born on Halloween in 1950 in up there in the great white north. He got a few small time acting gigs but where he really got his start was ... well it was basically the  Canadian Saturday night live which was called SCTV ( Second City Television). Just like old school SNL which produced talents like Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, John Belushi. Second City was the launching pad for  Rick Morains, Harold Ramis, Shelly Long, Catherine O'Hara, and everyone's favorite parent Eugene Levy.  So really if there was a good comedy to come out in the late 70's-the early 90's it had one or more of these talented Canucks in it. Candy like the others transferred very well into the film business because he knew what worked for him. 

 If you look back to his movie career , he isn't really known for his leading roles. Sure Uncle Buck and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Canadian Bacon stand out among his best work. But really what he is known for in my opinion is his supporting roles. Think about it. The Candy is I think I said it before  Is this larger then life personality who's presence stole the scene every time he comes on. 

  Out of his starring roles these are my favorites
1. Uncle Buck 
3. The Great outdoors
4. Summer Rental
5. Armed and Dangerous- 
6. Only the Lonely - I may be the only one who likes this movie but I find it extremely relatable 

Doin' the mess around
 A nice top 5 . I know what you're thinking . Where is Spaceballs? If you remember he wasn't one of  the main stars. It was Bill Pullman or Paxton or Clinton I could never remember which BIll it was,  Rick Morains , and Daphne Zuniga.


 So here is my list of my favorite John Candy Supporting / Cameo roles that he is known for

1. SpaceBalls
2. Blues Brothers / Home Alone
3. Stripes
4. National Lampoon's vacation
6. Bruster's Millions
7. Splash
8. Follow that Bird 
9. Little Shoppe of Horrors
10.Rescuers Down under - He was the Bird 

    John Candy should be remembered as kind hearted man who was funny,full of life and brightened up everyone he knew life. He was taken from this world too  soon and he was a legend in the comedy game and has left some amazing work for us to remember him by.
    If you haven't seen any of his work and you're not that big into the Super Bowl. Go to netflix.  They Have SpaceBalls, PLanes trains and Automobiles and The Great Outdoors up on instant. So check them out and enjoy  
Cooler then his time