Friday, October 18, 2013

R.O.C 5k Episode 1 of 3 : Place your bets


 Some time back in April  my brother  Jimmy and I went on a diet to change our basic outlook on life. Well, it did. We lost a whole bunch of weight.  I don't know his exact numbers but I know that I have dropped 60 pounds. But I have been back and forth between 279 and 285, it really depends on if I have a softball game or how many days of work I have. But I have keep a lot of the weight off because I run.... A lot.

All Day Errrvery Day
    I  took a shining to jogging. I like the freedom of putting in my headphones and taking off for about an hour of two.  It clears my head with what ever problems I have,  I don't have to stay to the same path all the time, and I push my self each time out to either go further go fast or go harder. For a guy who thinks of him self as a creative and competitive type of person,  it really makes me happy. This has put me in an all around better mood. 

  In July I ran my first 5k. It was the Living Social  Glow in the Dark 5k at Citi Field.I ran in the dark and with people wearing glowing shit. But I went into it like a serious race. So I was all hyped up to get timed and shit. But it was more of fun run. So I was in the wrong mind set. But ever sine then I wanted to do another one. My cousins Melissa,Kristen  their friend ran,and  also Mikey's Mom/my  aunt ran the Tunnels to Tower in September. If you don't know the Tunnel to Tower 5k is a memorial 5k that goes from the Hugh L. Carey Tunnel in Brooklyn to Ground Zero. It is to honor the Men and Women you lost their lives on 9/11 and has been a great event for the charities and for the city. Hopefully I can run in it next year.  Since I knew I was going to miss out on this amazing 5k I signed up for the most insane 5k I could. 

I was 939 people to early 
 No not the Run For Your Life 5k, which I am trying to get the staff here ready for probably next year. But the R.O.C 5k. R.O.C stands for Ridiculous Obstacle Challenge. It's a game show inspired type race. I don't know why I did it but it looked like  a crazy thing to do and It was on my birthday weekend so I figured what the hell. But since the government Hates my birthday shut down the National park it was going to be held in. 

  But through some crafty work by some motivated people the race is back on for this sunday 10/20. I am so pumped and they released the list of obstacles I will be crushing Brock Samson style. Which got me thinking.  What the hell was I thinking! Yeah I run but I don't run over obstacles. I am going to die. So what I am going to. Then It hit me. Like any other genius I am going to put a betting line
on what my odds are on finishing each obstacle without much injury. But since I don't know how to put odds on anything I am just going to use percents. Because lets face it I am to pretty to do math.  I was so close to being 5446. It would have made my year. 

Obstacles: This isn't in any real order just on what they listed.

1. World's Largest Inflatable Slide : 5% — the only thing I am worried about is the climb up other then that , cake walk city. 

Make your Miley Cyrus joke 
2. Wrecking ball - Odds 85%-Watching Youtube videos of the event, this is the craziest thing I've seen. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's two giant foam wrecking balls swing back and forth as you walk along foam logs above water. Your boy is doomed

3. The Worlds Largest Moon Bounce - 15%; the only obstacle I have trained for. Kinda.  

4. Belly Flop Drop-40% - I'm not putting too much thought in on this but I think I have to drop on my belly some where. 

5. Tarzan Swing-35% - That is being generous. I think I will own this like Ric Flair owned the 80's. Grab robe, Swing across a moat, land safely, R.V.D like a boss. 

6. Tight Rope Traverse - 2% - If I get space I will dominate. Just do a slow side step across another moat. I am used to tight roping through danger

7. Get It up (and Over) — 40% - Look I know my Iq is off the charts. I think I have to lift or climb over something .  Lifting is easy , but I think it's a giant mound of dirt that I have to use a rope to get over. That is my trouble zone. I have a bum shoulder and a fat ass. 

8. Gorilla Bars-25%-  Adult Monkey Bars!  Bring it on 

9. Concree-Stadores - 100% - I have no clue what this is. So I think I will be murdered by it. Because like the old saying goes. What doesn't kill you fucking murders your face! 

10. Aqua Drag-1% - I think it's just a dead sprint through fire hoses. Not worried , no way no how. 

11. Tire Mile-1000000000000000000 %  - Oh I am fucked. I trip over my feet all the time.So a mile (probably not a mile) worth of tires is like Superman on a kryptonite Island with a red sun. As good as fucked... or normal I am not a big superman fan but I know the Red Sun takes away his power so does that mean he is not affected by the kryp  ? 

I am so ready 

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