Saturday, September 7, 2013

The potential of RoboCop has got me thinking... Danger City aka Detroit

Google Images Made my 2013
     The RoboCop remake trailer came out today (9/4/2013 just incase you're reading this in the future) and through out it's casting, production , and updates I have been keeping a relatively close eye on it because like every American man born in the 80's and lived through the 90's I thought of Robocop as a Hero. Well, at least RoboCop 1& 2, 3 can go fuck it self. But I hold it pretty close to the heart right along with  Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers and  Bill Murray  all heroes to me.

  So I wasn't 100% behind the idea of a Robocop remake. Yes, the original isn't perfect. Granted it was the 80's they were trying some shit out. Just playing around with some green screen, squib packs, exploding hands, Kurtwood Smith's giant forehead just stealing the show and whatever this was. It's funny I looked all over the youtube and the google and couldn't find actual footage of  when the boss man got shot out the window. This will have to do, but yeah this was crazy . Look at those arms, so life like so real, so 80's. And that's what made it such a beloved movie. It's so out of hand crazy that it is cemented in our hearts an untouchable film. But money is easy to make then original ideas, so Robocop is getting an update. 

  After watching the trailer. I am kinda digging it. They stuffed it with Actors I want to see work together and really it looks like a Pacific Rim style action movie. Just enough clever dialogue to get me past the bullshit logic and just the right amount of action to take over the movie.  So really what this three paragraph lead up is heading to is a top list. 

Welcome to the Top 5 Remakes in my opinion  that were better then the originals aka The shot heard around the world . After this some of us are going to war.  So lets go to war.

You were the bomb in Jack and Jill
5. ScarFace/Scarface-Yes, The movie that ever rapper owns at least 5 pieces of memorabilia from and probably only like 8 of them actually watched. The heart warming story of a plucky underdog as he makes his way the ladder with heart, grit , determination and a shit load of Cocaine. You know he score so I wont get into it. But Pretty much its crazy gangster named Tony cuts his way up to the top of crime world and then dies at the end

Bro, have you ever photo placed?
4. Treasure Island / Muppet Treasure Island - Classic tale of a young man making friends with an older amputee in the bowls of a ship, later to betrayed by said amputee because said amputee is a  pirate named Long John Silver.... Did anyone back in the day when they were banning books every get a feeling that maybe the friendship in the bottom of a boat between young Jim Hawking and a guy named LONG JOHN Sliver was suspicious or were they too worried about Holden Caulfield  being a bitch? Needless to say The Muppets did a great job of real telling this tale. But that is a bias statement because I think the Muppets could remake anything and it will be good. Like When they remade Friday the 13th VIII with Muppets Take Manhattan. Just a shot by shot remake.

3. Mr. Blandings builds His Dream House / The Money Pit - I bet you just threw on the breaks. You were clipping along laugh and having a great time with the Scarface and the whole Muppets jokes that I had going on. But then I  just put it out there and you are all like " What is this?" I'll tell you. TOM MOTHER FUCKING HANKS , bitch... Yeah and  Alexander Godunov is the smooth bad guy in this burrito of 80's goodness. Basic over view Man ( Carey Grant/Tom Hanks) and fiance ( Myrna Loy/Shelly Long) build/find their dream house where they will build their future (pun intended) but some crazy shit happens and they get all mad at each other because its pretty crazy and then some other guy comes sniffing around. Hilarity ensues . Fun is had by all.

Never a dull moment
2. Star Trek II Wrath of Kahn / Star Trek into Darkness-Basically the same movie except not fake tits, Spock is Kirk, Kirk is Spock and The Klingons are there for a minute. Now I am not a huge Star Trek guy so when I say this please know its from an outsiders point of view. But The JJ Abrams movies are better then original ones. They have better stories and you get a better sense of the future with them. Now I wasn't 100% on how they cured death or the lack of Alice Eve boobs. But I got over it. Also maybe they could have used a comma in the title. But all in all that was a great Star Wars audition.

I said Yo Smell You later 

1. Omega Man / I am Legend - For those of you who don't know this movie has been remade twice. The first one is called  The Last man on earth and it is based off a book called you guessed it I am Legend. Pretty much one man survived a global pandemic where everyone except him has become a Vampire Zombie. Or a Zombie Vampire or a Vampy or a Zombire  or an Albino. No body really knows, just a bunch of people who are harmed by the sun and tried to eat people. But the Will Smith lead update is quite possibly the best all around remake of all the Remakes. Totally blows the Honeymooners and Total Recall out of the water. Wasn't Will Smith nominated for an Oscar for this movie. It had to be  for the scene where his dog dies. That broke me. Hold on, I'm remembering.... Ok I am back. Also I am Legend is the unofficial official start of the DC Universe. Not the Shitty Kevin Spacey or the Batman trilogy, no the one with Amy Adams in it and that is the only one that counts.

 So there it is. Let me know what you think . Hit me up on the Facebook Page or on Twitter. Since its football season I will be more active on Sundays and mondays. I kill it during the games.

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