Wednesday, June 12, 2013

This one is a freebie , next time it will cost you

 Well since the last few post have been movie reviews and I am feeling a bit stale. I think I should go back and pull out an old favorite. That's right a top list. Oh man, I haven't done one of these in a long time since I did one of these. It's like going to a dinner and ordering pancakes at 3 am, or that one porno you turn to when your in a rush. Yeah its old hat but they are there for you when you need it and it gets the job done.

  Now I just want to say this before I just want to tell you readers that I am not one of these guys who tell you how you should live your life. Frankly It's none of my business how you do your thing. Man woman or child you are your own person and to have someone tell you how you should live your live is just crazy.... But I am going to tell you how to live your life. So here is a top 5 of small things I do to make my Rock and Roll life style really kick ass.

Level 100000000
# 5. Right off the bat start saying you live a Rock and Roll life style. Now granted you probably don't and that is fine because less then 1% of us are actual rock stars and that 1% are total dicks and think they can monopolize the phrase. Well not on my fucking watch.  Do something normal like deposit a check and when the teller ask if there is anything else they could do for you you reply " I could use some information on your Roth IRA's. It looks like it would totally help my Rock and roll life style". The Bank teller will give you $10,000 just because of your confidence * Proven fact please try. ** not at all participating banks.

Like Christmas
#4. Since you have this new outlook n life it's time to pick up your deodorant game kid. Here's what I do when the weather starts to heat up or when your heat is kicking 24 hours and you just feel all fucking gross because your sweating because that's what you do.  I put my deodorant stick in the freezer for at least 24 hours and I start the day off right. Don't  mutter under your breathe " That's weird " fucking give it a chance. Look I wouldn't lie to any of you. Guys and the one girl who reads this throw your stick in the freezer the day before the hottest day of the summer, for 24 hours and when it comes time to mask up you underarm B.O and boom it's a new ball game.

#3. Now this one is to pick up your snacking game. Look Not errrveryone is into popcorn and that is fine so this one is not for you.  But for those of you who eat popcorn every chance they get.  Movies, Home, on the street , or you buy it off your neighbors cousin , I honestly don't care. So what you have to do is put M&M's or M&M shaped candy in that mother fucker.

#2. This one is a kinda obvious. Go ahead and put some chips or fries on your sandwich.Get your Sandwich game up, get nasty with it.
I am not on this level.... Yet 
 You have to get your sandwich game up on a a pro level. You can't be satisfied with just your normal sandwich. If you go to a deli and do not order one of their specialty sandwiches and you get a basic Ham, Turkey, pastrami , or chicken salad or whatever you get. If you don't buy a random bag of chips to top off your boring ass sandwich. Look there is a place in the New York area called Cherry Valley , 1 spot is in Queens and there is another in West Hempstead. They make some pretty bad ass sandwiches which you don't have to add anything onto because they do it for you. They'll add like Onion Rings, bacon, Waffle Fries , etc on your future poop. Just don't sell your self short  and go to a place like Subway or Quiznos because that is terrible. Also you can throw some Popcorn on a Turkey and Cheese. Not that bad.

All Day Errvvverrry Day 
#1. This is the big one. You know how you can improve your life ten fold. Just do you. Simple and elegant. What ever you find interesting or fun or whatever just go 100% .Except for you know the obvious no-nos. If you watch Law and Order Svu you know the guidelines. Go for a jog around your neighbor hood enjoy the freedom that comes with running through the intersections  during rush hour. Great times. Also fill up your MP3 player with some heavy beats that will motivate your lazy ass. I started Jogging maybe 2 months ago. I started doing about a mile maybe a mile and a half , got a real good sweat going. But I never used my iPod, then I put some new tunes on the old girl  and boom I am dominating my jogs now.  I am running further , taking less breaks and feeling a lot better about my appearance. Which isn't that much of a stretch because I am roguishly handsome  and I am humble as shit.

   I can't force you into doing any of these 5. But you can trust me they are a solid pick me up when you need it. Especially the Deodorant in the freezer.

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