Thursday, April 11, 2013

Summer Movie Mayhem

  I am going to be real honest friends . Today got a little weird. It first started out I was at work doing my normal repetitive  , monotonous shit when all of a sudden my boss starts hysterically laughing. Not like a simple chuckle I am talking Mark Hamill Joker end of the capper type laugh . You know when he just fucking loses it. So that happened, then I get home my brother tells me he is going to a concert and I have the house to my self. Which is great except there is nothing to do at all.  Nothing At All! Seriously  after Community, Parks and Rec. and before Legit started I spent the night jumping over a couch just to see if I got it and I put two on their sides and watched the end of Hangover 2. Why ? I don't know because it was something to do.

   But I just want to post real quick about something that the team here is going to do over the for seeable future  we are going to review movies that come out to the theaters. Now I am not speaking for everyone , just my self but I am going to list a few of the Movies that I plan to be  checking out and reviewing for the site.

1.) 42 - I love baseball and I love the Jackie Robinson story a true American Underdog story. I just hope that they show that his struggle was not easy and I hope they don't trivialize it to soften it up for the audience. People treated Jackie horribly pressure and hatred that anyone else would of crumbled. But he stood strong against it and had a Hall of Fame Career. In theaters 4/12

2.) Oblivion- You know Tom Crusie walks around a blowed up Earth while trying not to trick you that it's not the first Scientology movie of the year. But my dude Morgan Freeman is in it and it wouldn't kill me if I missed it.

3.) Iron Man 3- This is where we draw our line in the sand folks. This is what we have been waiting for. You guys watched the first Superhero Podcast, don't lie. So we are ready for it. Plus we will stay through out all the credits. In theaters 5/3

4. )Star Trek Into Darkness - I am even about it but the nerds who write for me are looking forward to it so I guess we can check it out. Also anytime you crash a ship into water in your trailer it gets me interested.  Such a Pro move. In theaters 5/17

5.)The  Hangover 3 - Just because it has to end. In theaters 5/24. 2 was just 1 in Bangkok so high expectations for 3.

6.) The Purge - There isn't too much press on it but I saw the trailer and it looks like a cool idea. The guy who wrote it also wrote the movie Jack starring Robin Williams ( That movies was creepy ). It's has an interesting concept in an alternate reality where there is no crime. Watch the Trailer it  explains it better. Real 1984  type shit. In theaters 5/24

7.) After Earth - The Second of the years Scientology series but the first of the tremendously disappointing trailers series. I saw this one during the Super Bowl and it held my interest for a good 95 % of it and then I saw who was directing it and I lost all faith in zero seconds. Fucking M.Night Shyamalan.  So this movie obviously  has a  twist in it that is so stupid you'll want your money back. Or it's the Happening 2.  In Theaters 6/7... I have my own theory about Will Smith and his movies and what they mean to the World in general. That will be a post probably when this time bomb comes out.

8.) Wedding Crashers 2... The Internship - Vince Vaughn Owen Wilson speaking a million words a second. Doing there thing , being bros. How could this movie not be good. Or the same thing as wedding crashers. Just replace Weddings with Google and one Rachel McAdams with Rose Byrne. All you need is a memorable cameo from Will Ferrell and Boom comedy gold.  In theaters 6/7  I'd probably see this instead of After Earth. in theaters 6/7

9.) Man Of Steel - It's a bird , It's a plane, It's a movie that everyone is going to go batshit crazy for because it has Christ-opher  Nolan's hands all over it. It's Superman's turn to take the torch from Big Bat.  All I have to say this if Superman doesn't hit anyone in the face in this movie I am calling it a failure. You can't build to a Justice League movie with out showing  Superman fighting. In theaters 6/14

10. This is the End- Just a bunch of "comedians" dealing with the end of the world one curse word after another. The Apt group comes together for an epic movie that just sounds like a good time.
I feel this one I will do a throw back. Sneak in a few 24 oz's and drink up. In theaters 6/14

11. World War Z- The second one of the most disappointing trailers. How low is everyone's expectations on this thing? Right, from the gate it looks like shit and I highly doubt the acting is what is going to drive us to the theaters. I haven't read the book but I've heard that it's nothing like the movie at all. You pumped?  In theaters 7/21

12.  Pacific Rim - Sounds like a high class porn but P-Rim is a Guillermo Del Toro picture about Aliens from the ocean and giant fighting Robots.... This movie is going to be fucking awesome! Seriously the way I see it, is that the acting will be crap but the effects will be crazy awesome. I see this movie as a building block to another movie. Like How the Returner lead to Transformers. I think Pacific Rim will lead to a Voltron movie. 8/12

13.Red 2- Just like the Hangover 3. I saw the first one I might as well finish it off. But I saw Red like 2 weeks after it came out because there was nothing interesting out. So I might do the same here. In theaters 7/19 and out of theaters 7/20

14. The Wolverine - I don't know man this movie was going to be directed by the dude who did Black Swan and the Wrestler but he saw the first one and backed out super fast. There should be some cool tie ins to the next Xmen disaster. In theaters 7/26

15. 2 Guns - I know very little about it but it looks cool. in Theaters 8/2

16. Elysium - From the same people who did District 9 which was a solid movie.  Basically the Rich live on some space craft while the poor suffer down on earth. Then he gets some mecha suit and blows some shit up.

17. The World's End- Basically the English version of  This is the end. The Shaun of the Dead guys take on the end of the world in this comedy. It's going to be funny, It's not going to do well in the American Box office but the Dvd sales will crush it. In theaters 8/23.

  So that is it. This list is not set in stone there will probably be movies that didn't make the sexy 17 ( did not sound that great) here and I will probably miss a few of these but I will see a good number plus there are 9 writers on this site. A good number will be covered