Wednesday, April 3, 2013

2 posts in 24 hours... This one must be about Fantasy Baseball




  So I thought I'd do this one very quick and to the point. No pussyfooting around anymore. Like I have said many of times  I love everything about the game of baseball. I've played baseball/softball for over 22 years , I go to X amount of games a year, I watch too many hours of the MLB network so I guess you can say I have an absurd knowledge of the game. But since this is a site dedicated to the non sports life I lead, I have found away to marry the two worlds together in a harmonious way that only has driven me to loose my hair and get really short with my friends. I'm sorry but I am heartless when it comes to making trades. That's right I am talking about Fantasy Baseball.

It's true the Ladies love when you talk about Stats 
   For the past 5 years or so I have taken in multiple fantasy leagues but only in Baseball and Football. I have seen glory with 3 Fantasy Football Championships out of the 4 I have been in. But Baseball I have only been in the post season once. AND IT'S FUCKING KILLING ME!  How? That's all I want to know, I get top level pitching , all star type hitters and what do they all do? They get hurt or they fall apart. Well this year is a little different. I have drafted possibly the most diverse team in the history of the game. No matter what any projections or Guru says. My team is all sorts of fire and you're just gonna have to deal with it.

I am going to give you my roster. But if you do fantasy drafts, you should know the Snake or the standard 1- 10 no fuss no muss drafts. But we do things differently here. See I don't know if I am a pioneer or I am just another dope who implicated it. But we draft in what we call the Machine gun . Basically it starts of 1-10 , then the second round 1 goes to the last spot so it's 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,1 and so on and so fourth until every team has been the first pick and the last pick. Some times its a huge pain in the ass when you are drafting 1 or 10 but if you are drafting 4 or 5 you really have an advantage.  So this year I got the 5 Th. pick.

 So let me introduce you to the Enthuses  of greatness. This will go by rounds (24)
The Braun From a Bottle ( get it because he took steroids and is a cheater)

1. Albert Pujols- Because I have to
2. Prince Fielder - that's 60+ home runs from my first two picks
3. Jose Reyes- The Speed, the glove the Hot fire
4. Dustin Pedoria - the Laser show himself
5. Chase Headly- 5th in MVP voting last year 5 pick for this guy
I didn't make this photo but I respect the person who did
6. Jacoby Elsbury - In a Walk year , come on playa that shit is a no brainer
7. Chris Sale- Also known as Stud
8. Errol's Chapman - Throws 105 in the 9th ... Lock down
9. Josh Johnson - New country for big country ?
10. Roy Halladay - Don't mind the Spring the Doc operates in the season
11. Michael Bourn- I've go the need... The need for speed
12.Jon  Lester- That's my dude
13. Chris Perez- The master of the mustache... I think I could be mistaken
14. J.P Arencabia - Look I needed a catcher and he was there. Plus he can rake
15 Jake Peavy - I don't have anything clever for him, he was really good last year for me
16 Shane Vitorino - The Flying Hawaiian ... I needed one more outfielder
17. Michael Saunders - Sleeper city
18. Alderton Simmons - Carried the Dutch in the WBC and will be a star
19 Jed Lowire - I seriously thought he played more positions
20  Phil Hughes - Because I love having people on the disabled list to start the season
21. Jesus Monitor - The Seattle slugger ? Sure why not sign me up
22. Tyler Clovin- I thought I had a sleeper but I had a creeper .To be honest I dropped him right away after the draft because He was sent to Triple A.
23. Jason Vargas - Sure why not
24. Chad Billingsley - See #20

So how do that look to you ? I tell you what it looks like to me
Championship Mother Fucker . I am so down to start talking about fantasy sports on this. Because lets face it... It's not a real sport and it's super fucking nerdy.

You can see my modeling career has taken off
                                                 

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