Thursday, February 28, 2013

Three Tweeters Tweetin'

For today's scintillating post, I've decided to share something about myself. I follow some people on Twitter. Not many - I mean who has the time to sort through all those twidiots and figure out which posts I'd like to scroll past on a daily basis?

Anyways, I've picked three contestants whose posts I usually skim. Come explore the inner workings of my mind. 

In no particular order (drum roll please)

The New York Times @nytimes

Yeah, okay. This first choice is zZzZz, but hear me out. I often find myself in situations (i.e. work) where I need to make awkward small talk with strangers. It's delightful for everyone involved. Since I've already perfected my weather speech ("I heard it's supposed to rain tomorrow!" or "It's so nice out today, have you been outside yet?") and my days of the week spiel ("Oh, it's definitely a Monday!" or "Is it Friday yet?!?!?"), I need some new material. The NYT oh-so-cleverly tweets its headlines. I'll just skim those suckers and click on a whatever one grabs me to view the summary. Hell, if I'm interested (or stuck in line or on the train or pretending not to see someone) I'll even read the damn article. There's a catch: you can only read 10 free articles a month due to the paywall, but whatevs, if I'm really interested I'll read it on my computer.

Do you get what I'm saying here people? I can kill time while still seeming informed. Being informed is important, but if you can't muster the enthusiam, you can read the article summary and fake it 'til you make it. Stuck in an elevator with your boss? Ask 'em if they've heard the latest about the Cannibal Cop! That's a surefire way to A) get promoted or B) Kill the conversation. Boom. Pun intended. You're welcome.

I also follow the WSJ on Twitter, but wouldn't recommend then because they retweet old headlines and links to videos. Hey WSJ, I'm not dumb. I remember you tweeted that shit last week. Get some new material. Also, videos? No.

Special shoutout to the NYT Green Blog (@nytimesgreen) because I am an alleged recycling Nazi. Now, moving on.

Richard Lawson @rilaws

Once upon a time I stumbled onto a website called Gawker and thought it was actually pretty funny (not really anymore, but I'll get to that). I keep noticing that the posts by one 'Richard Lawson' really cracked me up. My oh my, he really tickled my pickle. He gave me a funny boner. He was the reason I looked like a crazy person laughing to myself in my cubicle (unfortunately that didn't deter anyone from talking to me). Who was this guy, I wondered, and how'd he get so funny? Well, I have no idea, but I can tell from hisTwitter picture that he probably lives in Brooklyn. I bet he's over in Williamsburg or Greenpoint or maybe even HipsterHeightz (a place so trendy and on the up that the NYT hasn't even had a chance to write a trend piece on it), drinking an Americana, wearing vintage plaid, wandering a farmer's market or brunching with friends at this very moment. Maybe he's sitting at home, so very alone, watching TV "for work" with his cat named Boyfriend. "Oh," he'll tell people, "I can't tonight. I've got to get home to my boyfriend. We're having dinner together. Maybe another time." And then he dies a little inside. I don't know and I don't want to ask a lot of questions.

Well Gawker sucks recently and I jussstttttt figured out that he no longer works there. Yeah, a little behind on that one, but I do have a life yaknow. He writes entertainment reviews or "articles" for The Atlantic Wire, which frankly I had never heard of and didn't even care to investigate. It looks like every other online publication - The Huffington Post or Mashable came to mind. Look into it for me and let me know if it's an actual newspaper. So now I follow him on Twitter so I can read his hilarious TV recaps and whatever other thoughts he gets paid to think. Here's something recent he co-wrote with a 90-year-old lady (I'm sure she's totally heard that one before) on 2013 fall TV pilots. I love reviews! I love humor! Most of the time, he combines the two. Check it out.

The Cut @thecut

The Cut is New York Magazine's fashion blog. What? I recreationally (read: when I'm bored) follow fashion, and it's nice to see how the other half lives. $2500 coat? HAHAHA YEAH OK but doesn't that 16-year-old Russian look great in it? Some people call fashion art, and that's what I call it too, because just like a painting in a musuem, it ain't coming home with me. I can't read too much of this kind of stuff though - it gets old fast.

That's all for this time! Let me know if I'm missing anything good on the Twittersphere, and if you need something new to clutter up your Twitter feed, follow me @Marb_Reds.

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