Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Parker Power Rankings 2/17/2012

Good day ladies and gents (I assume mostly gents. lonely, lonely gents) today I bring you a new weekly feature to the site in which I will be ranking who I believe, had the best week in the world of WWE.

This week saw the final Raw and Smackdown! before tonight's Elimination Chamber Pay Per View, or the "go home show" as its known in wrestler lingo. Overall it was a fairly decent show, nothing was too over the top, but it didn't suck by any means. All in all I give the show a B+.

  1. CM Punk & Paul Heyman

Heyman's opening promo was gold. I found myself questioning if he was actually quitting, and actually felt sad imagining Raw without Paul Heyman. That promo drew emotion out of me which is something wrestling hasn't done in a while. On top of that CM Punk and Paul Heyman gave The Rock a beat down and stole back the WWE title. These 2 have found a way to look very strong in defeat at the Royal Rumble and leave me very excited for the rematch tonight.

       2. Mark Henry

When the Worlds Strongest Man slams a leprechaun, you KNOW its making the list

Since returning 2 weeks ago, Mark Henry has been an unstoppable force. In 2 weeks he has taken out Daniel Bryan, Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, The Great Khali, and now fucking Hornswaggle. Henry is a legitimate threat in this years Chamber match and a top contender to win. I cant wait to see who gets inducted into the Hall of Pain in 2013.
     3. Jack Swagger

While Swagger looked pretty strong here, the real intrigue is that mustached man Zeb Culter. Swagger has always been a talent in need of a mouthpiece and a racist "get off my lawn" Vietnam vet is the perfect manager for a heel American. Im excited to see what the future has for these 2.

      4. Cena/Sheamus/Ryback

In anticipation of their match against The Shield, Team Sell No! took the upper hand on Monday Night in their brawl. Lobsterhead, Goldberg and G.I. Joke sent the Shield running for cover, and hold a strong advantage going into tonight Pay Per View.

         5. The Rock

After no-showing the previous Raw, The Rock returns and tells a bad story about Crackheads. He then proceeds to get Punked out (Pun intended) by Heyman and CM Punk. Sorry Rocky but you plummet to the 5 spot this week.

      6. The Shield

After getting sent running on Raw, the justice crew showed up on Friday Night Smackdown! and destroyed Funkasaurus and the Hip Hop Hippo. Dean Ambrose delivered some promo gold and send a message to Team Sell No! that the Shield will destroy them on Sunday. Point: Justice.

    7. Triple H

You're probably asking yourself, what Trips did to earn a spot on this list? Well in my opinion the guy got Bruno Sammartino into the HOF, something Vince Mcmahon could never do. He has done very well with debuting new talent, and he let El Generico keep his mask. You did good Trips, now get out there and bury Bork Lazer, you've earned it buddy.

    8. Chris Jericho

This week Jericho earned a spot in the Elimination Chamber match and had a fantastic match on Raw with Daniel Bryan. Jericho always puts on a clinic in the ring and I look forward to seeing what he will do in the Chamber.

9. Antonio Cesaro
Because This

10. The Brooklyn Brawler

The Brawler gets a mention on this list because he spoiled something for Wrestlemania, I called him a dummy and his feelings were hurt. Sorry Brawler, don't spoil  the Wrestlemania main event next time.

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