Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Parker Power Ranking 2/24/13

Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, and probably all of /r/squaredcircle because you guys gave me over half a thousand views on my last post (You guys rule). It's your favorite blogger and #1 Parkaholic, the 145 lbs. of Muscle, Steel, and Sex appeal coming at you with another edition of my world renowned Parker Power Rankings. Today we'll be taking a look at the week that was in the WWE from 2/17 - 2/23 and bring you the top 10 wrestlers of the week, so put on your Brodus Clay dancing shoes, twirl your mustache, and stop driving under the influence, because we're kicking things off with number 1!

1. Jack Swagger

Before we get into this, I would like to say that I do not agree with what Swagger has done, he has earned this spot because love him or hate him, he is being talked about and that is what matters.
Jack Swagger has been the talk of the town lately in the WWE. Paired with his mouthpiece Zeb Colter, the two have been delivering some good old racist promo's on Immigration.

Promos like this caused Glenn Beck on his show "The Blaze" to reference the WWE and its fans as "Stupid wrestling people". 

This is exactly what WWE wanted, as it is giving them a lot of mainstream press heading into Wrestlemania. WWE responded to Glenn Beck by inviting him to Monday Night Raw this Monday in Dallas.

On top of all of this, Swagger was arrested on Tuesday night leaving a Smackdown! taping for reckless driving and as it turns out, was actually drunk and received a DUI along with being caught in possession of weed. There was much controversy over Swaggers current position and if he would be fired, but it looks like it will take more than a DUI to get WWE to pull the plug on this much talked about, controversial gimmick. As I mentioned before, love him or hate him, Swagger is the most talked about superstar right now and that earns him this weeks #1 spot.

2. The Rock
This week The Rock successfully retained his WWE championship against CM Punk at the Elimination Chamber PPV, and then debuted the heavily rumored new WWE championship belt.
It's....It's beautiful :')
I think this is the perfect time to debut a new title. The old Spinner title is simply outdated, and its known as John Cena's belt. It's pretty much set in stone that The Rock and John Cena will square off once again in the main event of Wrestlemania, so why have The Rock defend the belt Cena debuted? It's a simply, yet powerful looking title and Im excited for this change. Thank you Rock.

3.The Undertaker
This one barely made the list, as it happened last night, but.....The Deadman is back.
This happened last night at a house show in Texas, and I can only imagine being in that crowd. Who would have thought you would see The Undertaker at a house show? That video alone gave me goosebumps and I cannot wait to see The Deadman return, which will most likely happen tomorrow night on Raw.

4.Ricardo Rodriguez
Ricardo saved the day this past Monday, as it looked like Dolph Ziggler was going to cash in his Money in the Bank contract on Alberto Del Rio. Ricardo stole the breifcase and proved that sometimes the sidekick can save the hero!

5. CM Punk
Punk may have lost to The Rock this past Sunday, but the next night he talked John Cena into putting his Wrestlemania title match on the line in a match tomorrow night on Raw. Later on in the show he sent a strong message not only to John Cena, but to The Rock, that he is coming back for the title.

6. The Shield
Not only did The Shield beat the Super Friends once, they did it twice. They beat Cena, Sheamus and Ryback on Sunday and Sheamus, Ryback, and Jericho on Monday. These guys are the future off the WWE and everyone had better take notice.

7. Mark Henry 
Mark was kind enough to grace us with his presence this past Monday night, slam a Mexican jumping bean into his grave, and anger the not so Great Khali. Just another Monday in the life of the Worlds Strongest Man. After all, that is what he does.

8. Team Hell No!

The Bromance between Kane and Daniel Bryan has been falling apart for weeks, this was not helped by Daniel costing Kane yet another victory to Randy Orton this past Monday. I really hope these 2 get a match against one another at Wrestlemania, it could steal the show.

9.John Cena
As you saw before, he lost to The Shield, and CM Punk not only conned Cena into putting his title shot on the line, but he also laid him out and put his spinner title out to pasture beside him. It was a rough week to be Super Cena but he will most likely bounce back next week. If I had to give John a grade this week it would be a D, I would be a little more generous but I cant C him.


When I first saw this guy in November, I thought this gimmick was laughably horrible. Four months and numerous vignettes later, I find myself interested in this character. I hope we see the Fandango debut soon, and I hope he can live up to the months of hype!

Well as we come to the conclusion of another exciting week in the world of wrestling, a big thank you to all that have read this. As always follow and talk graps with me on Twitter, be my friend on Facebook, and check out the UH Facebook Page for all the latest posts on your favorite entertainment. Until next time, this has been your favorite Parkaholic, Underrated Hero, Blog stealer, and the best damn thing to happen to Sports-entertainment blogging since that guy who wrote an article about WWE video games telling you to scratch and claw your way to the top, I blog all night long and I will never stop, Parkaholics like to do it loud, in front of a crowd, and blogging is like the thing...I do.

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