Saturday, February 16, 2013

The original UnderRated Hero... Plus a drinking game


The wall; Sums the movie up in 4 letters
    Once in a while you just skim through Netflix trying to just blow off some time wether you're  at work, home or maybe your just buying time before you crank down before you hit the sack. Man or woman you know this to be true. Well my good friends do I have a movie for you, not only do you get your fill of 80's action, violence, well crafted dialogue , 80's boobs, a sexy ass beach sex scene which might be a real rape , closeted  homosexuals , just the slightest touch of racism for all races,  an endless supply of poorly painted swastikas, White people problems, so many stabs in the dick to make Lunar Bobbit cringe and the sexiest full bodied Black lady in the past 2 decades.  SURF NAZIS MUST DIE. Please if you have about 70 minutes to kill watch this movie and enjoy the disaster.

 Surf Nazi's was made by Troma in 1987  so you know where the bar is set. Right in that over the top blood and boobs area. So really fucking high! But instead of doing a full on review because honestly I think  there are no words that can describe how much this movie.... Happened.

 This was the first movie in the Underrated Heroes Live tweets that me and Melissa aka Marbs_Reds are going to do. Basically the idea is to live tweet the most absurdly shitty movies on NetFlix or Hulu plus and somehow bring it to you, our lovely readers. By the way... Way to make us the hottest blog on the bloggosphere in out opening week. We'll keep turning out the hits as long as you keep on checking in and hey spread the word. But this will be a thing that we'll do and who knows if we'll video this shit.
Here are the hash-tags we used = #Surfnazismustdie  , #Badmovies  , #UnderratedHeroes . Some of them have other people in it but look for @blueandorange17 and @marbs_reds
   Here's the thing we live tweeted the shit out of this movie and we had a quick convo about what should we post about it. I have nothing good except I fell head over heals in love for the heroine in this movie. Eleanor "Mama" Washington the hardest bitch in Cali. Now I have been thinking about writing something about who we consider "Underrated Heroes" its like a title track like when Bad Company wrote the song Bad Company on their hit album Bad Company. But Mama is the perfect women. There were 5 gangs trying to take down the Surf Nazi's , they all died by dick stabbings and nunchuck wounds but not Mama she was the only person who used a fucking gun.  She is the best and I wish I might edit my prospective Valentines date and put her right at the top of the list! I am sorry Alison Brie, Ladies of SourceFed to the back.

  I believe Melissa is going to give a review so I am going to do something a little different. This movie is probably  ground fucking zero for drinking games. If there isn't one I am shocked.  Here we go , The Surf Nazis Must Die drinking game

Take a 1 drink
1. When a Surf board is the best actor in the scene
2.  When Brutus has a harpoon gun
3. When Hook shows up randomly
4. When they use or talk about "Psychology" in the wrong context
5. When you see the Asian guy with the nunchucks  doing the bare minimum of nunchuckery
6. When you feel very uncomfortable watching the movie

Take 2 drinks
1. When Adolf says how smart he is
2. When Mengela does something with a blade
3. When you feel like the nurse is bad at her job
4. When a fight scene might turn in to a high class gay porn
5. When you think Smeg is dead/then when you realize that he has an odd relationship with his mom
6. When you see the jaw dropper in the Zebra pants who only paces back and forth for no reason
* When you realize that they probably didn't get the right permits to film at that location.

Take 3 drinks
1. When Something racist is said
2. When Mama does something badass
3. When you see that there is very little anarchy in "Anarchy ruled" California
4. When the little kids make you appreciate your parents and how they didn't force you into being a child actor
5. When random shit happens
6. When you think there is a rape a happening

Drink the entire beverage
1. When Mengela  does something super gay
2. When you find out Adolf's real name
3. When Someone gets stabbed in the dick
4. When Someone gets stabbed repeatedly in the dick
5. When one of the nurses says something stupid
6.  When Mama drives a boat like a fucking pro

 Finally drink until you die
1. When Mama is using the only gun in war torn California
2. When  you get a boner for Mama
3. When you realized you are never getting these 83 minutes back
4. When there is an unexplained surf montage

 By all means drink responsibly. Except if you're a Surf Nazi  then you must die!

No comments:

Post a Comment