Saturday, February 16, 2013

Surf Nazis Must Die: A Movie Review in Pictures

File:Surf Nazis.jpg

I am still coming down from the live-tweeting high of Surf Nazis Must Die. Seriously, just watch the trailer. It's a highlight reel for everything epic. 

Speechless? Me too. This cult classic even received a gnarly endorsement from The New York Times... 

"Not even the actors' relatives will find this interesting."

But was it funny?

"And 'Surf Nazis Must Die' isn't funny in the slightest, the title notwithstanding."

Seriously though, tell me about the movie. 

"It's a standard, thoroughly stupid gang-war exploitation film intercut with occasional low-energy surfing footage, featuring characters named Adolf, Eva and so on who chant slogans, wear swastikas on their wetsuits and burn surfboards from time to time."

Oh. Got it. 

Let's take a brief look at what this movie has to offer. IN PICTURES.

1. Innuendo!*

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2. Gangs!

These American Apparel employees didn't stand a chance
3 angry Whole Foods customers dare to defy the Surf Nazis
3. High Fashion!

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"Just spray paint a swatiska on it."
- The Wardrobe Department
4. Low Impact Surfing!

Enthusiasm > Skill 
5. Intense Fight Scenes!

Define: Stealthiness
6. Waterproof Swastikas!

7. Unnecessary Overacting!

8. A Boat Chase!

9. DickStabbing!

10. Uncomfortable Sexual Encounters! 

Here's the beginning of that rape scene nobody asked for

Watch this movie if you're into: electronic keyboard solos, terrible graffiti, loud yells, extended surfing montages, maniacal laughter, racism, people walking on the beach, the 80's, people sleeping in concrete structures, shots of oil rigs, sexual tension, classic dialogue, and manly posturing. 

I'm going to leave you with a quote from "The Fuhrer of the New Beach" (that's gang leader Adolf - or just Ricky to his friend's mom). 

"Sand. We're not getting enough out of it." 

Need more insightful analysis? Check out the live tweets with @Marb_Reds & @BlueAndOrange17 #UnderratedHeroes #BadMovies #SurfNazisMustDie

*See what I did there?

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