Saturday, February 9, 2013

Dragon's Dogma > Skyrim

Now I am sure some of you fine folks (all 10 of you) read that title and scoffed. That is the reaction I anticipated because this/my opinion is not popular, but it is right.  Wait a second, opinions are subjective how could one be wrong and the other be right?  Well here is the the thing I am like New York, I have great pizza and 29 electoral votes. You are Rhode Island, no one cares about you outside and I refuse to take the time to look up how many electoral votes you get. So if it came down to who's opinion matters more, it will always be mine.  But if that logic doesn't make perfect sense to you it is OK because I have decided to take the time and explain why Dragon's Dogma is superior to Skyrim. In the process I will show you how retarded you are to think otherwise.

Skyrim Combat -  Where do I fucking begin? To put it bluntly it's shit.  In an RPG each "class" is suppose to be special and distinct, this is not the case in Skyrim.  Combat boils down to mashing the "kill" button and hope that your guy swings faster and harder than the opposing NPC.  This wouldn't be a problem if the feedback from the combat was something like God Of War. Where you get appropriate feedback and it looks spectacular,  it's immersive.  When you smash somebody in the face with a war hammer in Skyrim he has the same reaction as if he was stabbed by a dagger.  Instead of his head exploding he kind of looks at you and says "What's the problem, Bro?"  This is a real problem and something Bethesda hasn't addressed in the Elder Scrolls series. This same problem also carries over to both the Magic and Archer "classes", I put classes in quotations cause such a thing doesn't exist in Skyrim.  NPCs have the same reaction if you burn or electrocute them, There is no variety either way. They will sprint at you and call you a mudcrab. As a archer if you shoot someone in the leg they still run right through it as if they were a Vietnamese soldier high on opium.     What is the point of replaying the game as a different "class" if you still get the same reaction when you beat the fuck out of a guy?

D's D Combat  - Combat in Dragon's Dogma is thrilling, diverse, and responsive.  Outside of having flashy special moves and the most epic boss battles in a RPG this decade it is truly fun to play.  I played the game as a Strider, a dagger wielding and bow using class.  Because this class I was closed off from learning Magic and The Sword And Shield Class but in it's place I have great combo attacks and the ability to shoot several arrows at once among other special attacks.  This is how an RPG is meant to be executed.  I willingly chose my class and had to accept  I wouldn't be able to reign hell fire down upon my opponents. I could however for a price, switch my class at the city but I am not a bitch and stuck with being a Strider till the very end. Another thing that sets the combat in Dragon's Dogma on another level is the ability to jump on the monster's face and hack away at his eyeballs.  Each monster has a distinct weakness. Trolls hate fire, Goblins hate ice, if you smash a cyclops in the eye he goes into a rage, and so on.  One of the best experiences I had playing a game is when my pawn (sidekick) lit a Griffin's wings on fire as he was trying to escape my righteous justice. Which leads to me to the Pawn System. In Dragon's Dogma you can hire other players sidekicks to help you kick Drakes in the ass.  Somebody hired my Pawn, fought a Griffin, and then my Pawn learned how to combat it.  It is such a unique system and one that I hope is expanded on in the sequel and really helps make this game special. Couple this with each monster encounter being something special you have a winning formula that other RPGs should look to emulate.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME"

                                                       



Skyrim Story - OK so the story in Skyrim is 10x better than Dragon's Dogma.  That is not a hard feat to accomplish when Dragon's Dogma has barely any story to begin with. In Skyrim you play as the Dragonborn of Nord legend.  You play as the Dragonborn even if you are a disgusting good for nothing Argonian.  Your race at the start of the game has pretty much zero impact in terms of story.  When you get to Whiterun to start the game's main quest you are told that Khajiits are not allowed within the walls do to them being scumbums . I decided to test this out as a Khajiit character and to my surprise they let me walk right in. I then promptly killed a villager.  There are also dozens of great side quest to be found here. My personal favorite quest are the one's from the Dark Brotherhood guild.  Just cause murder is delicious.

Look At That Trustworthy Face

                                                   


D's D Story -  Like Skyrim you play a character destined to save the world from a dragon that threatens to destroy it.  Pretty simple stuff.  The real fun starts after you slay the dragon  At this point you fight god himself.  Also Some guy turns to dust and screams for help after you slay Mr. Dragon.  His death is hilarious. I really can't say much more than that.  There is a princess she fuck's you over you kill her husband but that stuff has no real purpose in the grand scheme of I need to kill a fucking dragon.  So in closing the story is shit.

So maybe Skyrim isn't as bad as I stated above and maybe what I want from both these games is to heavily borrow from the other.  Skyrim needs to look at how Dragon's Dogma does combat and Dragon's Dogma needs to look at how Skyrim tells a story.  I hope that these two games both get white girl wasted and have passionate sex.  The end result of this night of passion could quite possibly be the best RPG ever.  For now though I will just wait patiently. I apologize for calling you retarded if you like Skyrim more than Dragon's Dogma, I still hate you though.


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