Thursday, February 7, 2013

Dane Cook is a douche

That's right, I said what most people are thinking, Dane Cook is huge douche nozzle. Even though he is pretty irrelevant in 2013, America is still haunted by his immense suckitude. At least I am, but sometimes I find it hard to let things go. That one scene in Waiting where he says to that little kid from Freaks and Geeks "Welcome to Thunderdome, Bitch" just pisses me off. I don't know why, but it does. Luckily for me, "Lame" Cook is not in the movie that I'm about to review for all you porpoise lovers out there in internet land.

V/H/S is a 2012 found footage horror film that's essentially a compilation with a loose story holding them all together. The official synopsis is as follows: "When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for." Are you interested? I sure was. Also appealing about this flick was the fact that each segment was helmed by a different director, one of which is the infamous Ti West, known for his extremely well received (by genre fans at least) 2009 80's homage, The House of the Devil.

I don't like reviews that spoil movies or go through everything minute by minute, so in a true testament to the laziness of today's world, I'll keep it short and simple. Would I recommend this film? Yes. Would I watch it again? Only in a group of people, not because I'm a scaredy-Dan, but because it would be fun. If you like the Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity, and Zombie Strippers, check this movie out, it's a cool concept.

Overall score: 2,693 out of a possible 4,769 points. Not too shabby.

In conclusion, here's a picture of me with a horse:

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